


chasing chickens

by sybris



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cigarettes, Fem!Levi, First Time, Fluff, Mild Smut, Multi, Other, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Sex, Suicide Attempt, a fair few people in the friendship circle are smokers, both of their mums are cool :)))))))))), including eren and levi, just a heads up for those who aren't comfortable with smoking being mentioned or in general, platonic ereri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-10 07:40:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3282368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sybris/pseuds/sybris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi's best friend used to be her fingers and her clitoris. But, those bitches backstabbed her, so now she needs to find some way to have a good, solid orgasm before she loses her mind. So, she does the first thing that comes to her head.</p><p>Ask her best friend of over ten years, Eren, to help her.</p><p>But... she certainly was not counting on it to end up like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. first times and favours

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! alas, it is i! yes yes, i know, i shouldn't be writing a fic when i already have two i should be working on. *slaps self* bad felix. but i had an idea of a fic scene and then when i wrote that i was like "woah. fic idea." sooo here we are.
> 
> for shame.
> 
> also, just a heads up, this is set in suburban australia in melbourne. and yes, that's a thing. so i'll say in the notes if there's any slang, along with what they mean, just so you can get the idea.
> 
> also also, the legal age for drinking, driving, buying cigarettes, all that stuff, in australia, is eighteen, so if you're wondering why i didn't put underage, it's because eighteen in australia is when you become a legal adult. idk if it's the same in 'murrica or whatever, but that's how it is here, sooo yeah!

She had tried so hard and she just couldn't get anywhere.

And it was beginning to get a little bit infuriating.

It was like… was she doing something wrong? Is that why she hadn't had a solid orgasm in over a month?

It just didn't add up.

So, that’s why she was forced to take drastic measures and... well…

Ask Eren to help her.

Now, don’t get her wrong, it was kinda a weird thing to ask your best friend of just over ten years, but she _really_ needed to get off; and he was probably the only person she could fully trust with her… _predicament._

So that was how Levi, an eighteen year old girl who’s so called ‘best friend’ _was_ her clitoris, ended up on the phone with her actual real life best friend at, like, eleven in the morning on a Saturday as she watches her parents drive away to visit her grandparents.

He picked up after a couple of rings. “Levi?”

Ah, shit. “Uh… h-hey, Eren!” This was not the best of ideas.

“Uh… hey!” He replied, just as cheerfully. “What’s up? You seem a li’l’ off. Everything okay?”

Fucking shit. “Yeah, yeah…” Fucking shit faced mother fucker. “Listen… I need your help.” Fucking ass bitch motherfucking son of a dick this was really not a good idea.

“Yeah? With what?”

“Uh… Okay, this is gonna sound really awkward but I’m just gonna say it and hope for the best.” Go big or go home.

“… I’m listening.”

“Um… well… I haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and I was really wondering if you could… you know…” Fuck, she couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Help you?” Oh. No need. He did it for her.

“… Yeah.”

There was a pause on the other end before he hummed in thought. “I don’t see why not.”

… Score…?

* * *

 

Okay, so there are two really awkward things about engaging in sexual activities with your best friend.

  1.     You’re engaging in sexual activities
  2.     With your _best friend._



But hey, at least he was up to it, right?

So that was how Levi, the aforementioned eighteen year old girl, found herself half naked in front of her also half naked best friend.

Mind you, they aren’t in an established relationship. So that just made it that much more awkward.

But alas, she soldiered on, because Levi was the one who asked Eren, so she was going to go through with it.

“You ready?” Eren asked tenderly, his voice baring hints of shaking. She swallowed thickly.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

He pushed her back down onto the bed carefully, planting soft kisses all over her face, purposely missing her lips. She tried to relax as much as she possibly could, propping herself comfortably against the dozens of pillows she’d gathered for maximum comfort.

The kisses trailed down her neck and jaw, and she couldn’t help but shuffle up the bed a bit more so she was more upright. Her arms wrapped around his own neck and shoulders; she was, admittedly, unsure of what to do in the situation, her only sexual experiences being masturbation and… well… she may have tried some other stuff as well…

Eren paused his affections. Sat up and looked Levi straight in the eyes.

“Levi,” he began. “I know you don’t have any sexual experiences. But don’t worry, okay? I’ll take care of you. If you feel uncomfortable, tell me. Don’t feel pressured to do anything. I’ll lead the way.” He paused, studying her face and expression. “Okay?”

She nodded vaguely and mumbled an “Okay.”

He nodded, apparently satisfied with her answer. “Now,” he began again, tone completely serious, continuing to trail kisses down her chest. “First things first,” his hands reached behind her back, “May I unclip your bra?”

And for what it’s worth, she laughed, a couple dozen butterflies disappearing from her stomach. “Yes, Eren. You may unclip my bra.”

He did so, only pausing his kisses to take the damned thing off and move down to her breasts. But not before leaning back and taking a moment to… appreciate them, per se.

“Huh. Naturally perky. Good job, Mrs. Ackerman.”

Levi laughed again. “It’s because you literally just took my bra off, dumbass.” She managed through giggles.

He chuckled a little with her. “Well, whatever, they’re still cute and small.” He leaned back down to continue what he’d started. “Secondly,” he said against her skin. Eren pulled back from her a little. “Do you wanna try penetration now?”

Well. That she certainly wasn’t expecting.

She thought sexual activities were about enjoying yourself, not contemplating the meaning of life.

Eren caught her expression. “If you don’t want to-“

“No… no, let’s try it.” She cut in.

Eren shrugged. If that’s what Levi had decided, so be it.

He decided to get a little experimental with Levi’s body. He dragged his lips down her breast, down to her nipples, taking his hand down to between her legs. She went a little pinker in the face, the tips of her ears quite probably bright red. But she’d asked him to do this for her, and she trusted him one hundred percent, so she relaxed a little bit more when he actually started doing stuff.

His finger was slowly rubbing circles on her clit through her underwear, and with what he was doing to her breasts, she felt a little more at ease with the whole situation. Her lower region started tingling significantly the harder he pressed on the area he was working on, the faster he went, everything.

She could almost cry at how gentle he was being with her.

Levi herself decided to test her limits; she took one of her hands from where it had lay to rest when he pulled back, and reached down to his own crotch, tenderly ghosting her hand over his dick. When they finally and carefully wrapped around the member, Eren gasped, in through the nose, the cloth of his underwear mixed with the touch of her hand creating the friction he didn’t know he needed.

Levi smirked. Started stroking the outline of his cock warily. Started speeding up when he did.

They could both feel whatever climax they were coming to rising in them; the way Levi’s toes started to curl and uncurl, her muscles clenching and stretching; the way Eren started  slowly and subtly thrusting into her hand, practically begging for more attention.

They both couldn’t take it anymore. The butterflies were long gone. They just had to do something a little more.

Eren’s other hand started trying to pull off her panties; she couldn’t help but lift her hips and help him out of his own underwear.

The garments were promptly tossed aside on the floor.

“Okay,” Levi began, breathing a little heavier, “Condom?”

Eren grabbed his jeans and patted the pockets, pulling out the wrapper of hope. He tore it open and brought out the condom inside, rolling it on with shaky hands. Levi pulled herself down to a lying position. Eren leaned himself over her. Aligned himself with her.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

He pushed in, slowly, all the way to the hilt. Made sure Levi was okay. When she confirmed that she was, he pulled out a little, thrust himself back in, paused, and repeated.

For Levi, it was strange at first, having someone inside her. But then he reached his hand down and started going at her clit again, and she was just done, weird feeling of penetration be damned. Eren kept himself at a steady pace, always asking for consent on things, always asking if she was okay with what he was doing, and each time he’d get the same answer.

“Yes.”

Because it was. And she was.

* * *

The only sounds in the room were the heavy ass breathing of its only two occupants.

“Well,” Levi inaugurated, reaching over to grab a cigarette. She passed one to Eren, who took it tiredly. “That was certainly a wild ride.”

Eren laughed, breathes coming in low chuckles. He inhaled from his cigarette, watched as the cloud of smoke disappeared in front of him.

Neither of their cigarettes lasted long. They were both too tired to finish them entirely. So they both just fell asleep, the open sliding door in her room bringing in a steady breeze through the fly-wire, the only sounds nearby being the buzz of the electric fly trap and the occasional cicada here and there, in each others arms, completely at ease.


	2. cigarettes and kid themed dinner sets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for smoking
> 
> milo cereal is the adaption of milo, which, for those who don't know, is a milk additive that tastes like chocolate but doesn't make the milk taste like chocolate unless you add in like... 5000000000 tablespoonfuls.

He woke up, dazed and confused, unsure of his surroundings, and only really sure of the fact that:

  1.     He was buck ass naked.
  2.     He really needed a glass of water.
  3.     He really needed a cigarette.
  4.     His best friend of just over ten years was also buck ass naked next to him.



He sat up carefully, already knowing how much of a light sleeper the girl was, and looked around the room. The sliding door window was open, the curtains flowing lazily with the breeze – some ugly ass orange slash yellow things that came with the old house -  so he could tell just by those curtains whose room it was.

An alarm clock on the bedside table beside him bore red numbers into his eyes. **6:04am.** Thanks, alarm clock.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to stretch his shoulders and crack is joints, before pushing himself up slowly and cautiously. His legs first dragged him to one of the many chests of drawers in the bedroom, rummaging through the draw he kept all of his clothes in. They’d been best friends for so long, they both kinda just accepted that they needed to have clothes at each other’s houses.

After pulling on some boxer briefs, he headed out of the room and down the hall, grabbing a couple of glasses from the cupboard, and searched the fridge for the jug of cold water Mrs. Ackerman always had in there.

He found it easily (it was a big pink thing that either had Pimm’s or cold water in it) and poured the water into the two glasses, taking it and the glasses back down to his friend’s bedroom. Being the good citizen he is, he set the jug and one of the glasses down on the bedside table, grabbed a cigarette from the packet still left tossed on the bed as well as a random lighter in one of the bedside table drawers, and set off to finally have that cigarette he so longed for.

And that was how Eren, after having sex with his used-to-be-virgin best friend Levi, found himself half naked in the heat of the Australian summer with a cigarette and a drink of water in a _Barbie_ themed glass.

Quite the predicament, don’t you think?

* * *

 

She woke up, confused and dazed, unsure as to why there was a cooling warm spot next to her, and only sure of the fact that:

  1.     She was buck ass naked.
  2.     She really needed a glass of water.
  3.     She really needed a cigarette.
  4.     The smell of cigarettes was wafting into her room through the open sliding door.



She sat up, thin blanket falling off of her, and looked around. Sure enough, cigarette smoke was dissipating just inside the door. Her eyes raked over the clothes crudely thrown around the bed, over the drawer that was just a little bit more open than the rest, over the alarm clock that glared red numbers into her brain. **6:07am.** Thanks, alarm clock.

Two objects on the bedside table caught her eye; a glass of water and her Mum’s favourite pink jug. She didn’t pay them much attention, other than a small huff of laughter at the glass’s theme, good old _The Wiggles_ , instead opting for crawling over the bed and into the second drawer of her bedside table: her trusty underwear drawer.

After rummaging through that, she threw her legs over the bed, taking some time to stretch her shoulders and crack her joints. She pushed herself off the bed, pulled on a pair of pink lace panties, didn’t bother with a top of any sort, grabbed a cigarette, guessed that whoever was smoking had her lighter, grabbed her water, and went outside with a rattle of the fly-wire.

The person in question turned to face her. He was swinging lightly on a rickety old outdoor swinging couch thing they’d had for as long as she could remember, nursing his own cup of water and cigarette. He himself was in nothing but a pair of boxers, her dog, a silly old Australian Stump Tail, resting his silly old head on his lap. His fingers were softly scratching the, admittedly, well groomed dog, sometimes playing with his ears or patting his neck.

She sat down next to him, palm out and open for him to put a lighter in, which he did, so she set down her glass on a rickety old table next to her, stuck the butt of the cigarette in between her lips, and lit it. They both sat in silence for a while, almost as though trying to correctly evaluate the situation, watching the clouds pass, the sky lighten slowly, the sunrise, the smoke dissipating into thin air.

And that was how Levi, the used-to-be-virgin best friend of the guy next to her, ended up mostly naked in the heat of the Australian summer with a cigarette and a drink of water in a _The Wiggles_ themed glass.

Quite the predicament, indeed.

* * *

 

They watched the sunrise in absolute silence; even after their cigarettes and waters were long gone, they just sat there, staring at the slowly brightening sky as it turns shades of pink, purple, and orange.

That is, until Eren decided to open his mouth.

“I knew they were naturally perky.”

Okay, moment ruined. “Excuse me?”

He looked at her like she was stupid. “Your breasts. They’re naturally perky.”

Oh. She looked down. Were they? “I’m only a 10B cup, though…”

“Doesn’t mean they’re not perky.”

“… Right.”

He laughed at her. She glared back at him, before standing up abruptly and going back inside towards the kitchen. He followed, grabbing the glasses and anything else they’d left out there, already knowing that she wasn’t going to. She was hungry, he could see that, so she was going to get some Milo Cereal even if she had to kill someone.

Trust him on this. She’d tried.

When he followed her through her room, he noticed that one of the drawers on one of the chests was open, a shirt missing from there.

His drawer.

Well, it’s not like he cared; they always shared clothes when they need it, even though she was absolutely tiny compared to him. Like, this one time, they swapped uniforms for school, and her dress was way too small on him. Another time, he needed female clothes for their school production, so she let him borrow some of hers.

In her case, one time she needed to dress like a guy because they were going to a party, and she _really_ wasn’t interested in getting hit on constantly. And, on various occasions, she’d simply needed a shirt for sleeping in. Not that she didn’t have her own big Men’s shirts; she just didn’t bother bringing them with her when she stayed over after a party or something at his.

That was their system, and that and been their system since they turned fourteen.

When he finally got to the kitchen, he rinsed the glasses, put them upside down on the bench next to the sink, and grabbed the bowl she’d gotten out for him. She was pouring her milk, leaving the opened box of cereal next to her, so he reached over and grabbed it, poured in a fair amount of the cereal itself, and poured in a fair amount of milk when she was finished with it. When he’d successfully obtained a tablespoon, he turned, bowl and spoon in hand, and leant on the bench, Levi leaning over it.

He couldn’t help but laugh at the theme of both his bowl and her bowl. “Ahh, I can’t believe how sentimental you guys are.”

Levi turned, question on her lips. “What do you mean?”

“Just look at your bowls and glasses.” He looked at his spoon. “Well, at least your cutlery set is nice.” She squinted at him. Looked down at her own bowl.

“Oh,” she began, words muffled by the cereal in her mouth. She quickly chewed and swallowed the mouthful before continuing. “Yeah, Mum can’t throw away stuff. Something to do with me being an only child. Besides, they’re cute.”

He laughed again. She joined in. “Still sentimental, though.”

She laughed again. “Yeah.”

And that was how Eren, an eighteen year old boy with body issues and a known tendency to say things he probably doesn’t mean but still shouldn’t say, and Levi, an eighteen year old girl with confidence issues and a known tendency to say things she definitely means and definitely shouldn’t say, ended up half naked in Levi’s kitchen with princess themed bowls of Milo cereal and surprisingly good silver spoons, awaiting for her parents to come back home.

Definitely a predicament, if you asked either of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is pedoseidon for those who still don't know


	3. break ups and mango salads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meet mrs ackerman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for it being so short. i'm actually trying to document close to everyday in their lives, yknow, just to try and see how their lives are as bestestestestest friends. so, i'll try and get a chapter out regularly, but just be warned that they may be short.
> 
> also, slangy slang slang!!
> 
> Macca's = McDonald's  
> the oval that is referenced is that my school - idk about other schools bc all the schools ive been to have one - is like... an oval of like... grass... where people play sports or have 'gym class' or even to just hang out n shit.
> 
> if i missed some then pls tell me bc i dont wanna confuse the americans

Mrs. Ackerman had arrived back shortly before noon – probably around eleven – as they both were going through their seventh bowl of cereal. She came in through the door, lugging her bag behind her, slammed the fly-wire shut, and promptly collapsed into one of the kitchen counter stools, head resting on the table.

Eren and Levi looked at each other, each at varying levels of eating their cereal. Eren gave her a look.

Levi, having jumped up on the counter and sat cross-legged on the thing, seemed at as much of a loss as to what to do as he did.

“Hey, Mum,” she began incredibly awkwardly, “What’s wrong?”

A muffled reply. She turned to Eren and very clearly mouthed ‘break up.’

Eren nodded in understanding. Mrs. Ackerman grunted, sat up, and took the closest pack of cigarettes and lighter, and just took one.

(It was Eren’s.)

Mrs. Ackerman inhaled through the now lit butt of the cigarette deeply, exhaled just as deeply, and repeated the process a couple of times before she’d officially and safely calmed down enough to talk. She leant back in the stool, flicking the collecting ashes of the cigarette into an ashtray Levi’d pushed towards her, and took a moment to mull over the actual situation.

She took a deep breath (not in through the cigarette) and turned to look straight at Levi. “So help me God, if I ever pick up another fuckwit, you tell me.”

And Levi, not really wanting to get in the way of her mother’s middle aged wrath, nodded and agreed. Even Eren agreed, because an angry Mrs. Ackerman was not a good Mrs. Ackerman.

They all collectively agreed to press the topic further after they’d all finished what they were so thoroughly enjoying; and after a cigarette and two bowls of cereal, they sat there, in the kitchen, and listened to Mrs. Ackerman ramble on and on about her now ex-boyfriend.

“-And so we were on our way home and we stopped off at Macca’s to, y’know, get some food, and as we go in to order, he literally fucking turns around and says to me “Mm, I dunno if you should have that, Celia, shouldn’t you start watching your weight?” Like no, dickhead, I want a fucking BigMac so I’m gonna get a fucking BigMac-“

“-Ugh, and then you remember when he and you had that massive argument? Yeah, well, he turned around to me later that day and said, “You know, Celia, you really should’ve raised that girl better.” And I was about to fucking smash him-“

And so on and so on.

It went on for a solid half an hour, and it was only after Mrs. Ackerman had made a dent in Eren’s pack of cigarettes did she finally calm down. They each sat in silence, not really knowing where to direct the conversation; that is, until Eren opened his fat mouth.

“Oh yeah, Levi, did you hear? Old Man Pixis might be stepping down from his role as principal.”

And Levi just… stopped. If Old Man Pixis retired, who would become the principal? Who would let their group of friends get away with smoking on the oval? Who would let them wear the uniform how they want?

“But then… who’s gonna let us get away with all the shit we do?”

Eren himself shrugged. “I dunno, but I heard we might get an entirely new one. If not, it’ll probably go to Ian or some shit.”

She shivered lightly. “Ugh. Ian.”

He nodded.

Mrs. Ackerman spoke up on the topic of school. “Oh, Levi, did you chuck all your uniform in the wash?” The ‘adult’ in question turned briefly and nodded, humming lazily in answer.

Mrs. Ackerman squinted her eyes and tightened her lips at her. Levi copied the expression.

“I don’t believe you.”

Levi rolled her eyes aggressively. “Okay, since when have I ever not thrown my uniform in the wash?”

Mrs. Ackerman opened her mouth. Closed it a little when Levi raised an eyebrow with a challenging expression. Opened it again. Closed it, and kept it closed, puffing out her chest and walking off to her own room.

They watched her go.

“It’s true, though. I always put my uniform in the wash.” Levi muttered under her breath. Eren tried to stifle a laugh, only succeeding in snorting apple juice out of his nose. Levi made a face of disgust. But, luckily, he didn’t make a mess.

She sighed. She was _way_ too tired to deal with this shit.

“Anyways,” she said, dragging out the ‘a’. “I might go have a nap. Y’know, to fuck up my sleeping schedule.”

Eren laughed. “Sounds like a plan.” He straightened up, rubbing at his throat and nose. “Mind if I join?”

She shook her head. Jumped off the bench and started for her room. He followed her, still dabbing at his face with a napkin. He threw it in the bin on his way to the bedroom, tapped their dog on the head as he passed, encouraging him to follow. He was the kind of dog that didn’t just randomly shed, unlike Eren’s goddamn golden retriever.

But hey, he couldn’t complain. Both of them were great fucking dogs when Levi’s grandad took them camping for the June long weekend; duck hunting season and all.

The dog followed excitedly, albeit slowly, most likely from the absence of one of his legs. It was an old injury, one that had been there since they got him, but boy did he power through it.

When both Eren and the dog got to the bedroom, Levi was already lying on top of the covers with her eyes closed, the curtains drawn and letting in little light. Eren climbed on next to her, patting the spot between them lightly. The dog followed, jumping up and curling up at Levi’s feet. Being so short, he had plenty of room, so that was always his favourite spot to sleep.

Not that either of them minded.

* * *

After an extended nap, they were woken up to very loud knocks and calls for dinner. The dog was up first, limping towards the bedroom door and growling playfully; Levi was up next, tired, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes; Eren was up last, a lot less hurriedly than the other too.

Levi got up and opened the door for the dog, who’s stump tail was wagging like mad. He always knew when he was going to be given food, and frankly, it was phenomenal. After successfully pulling on a pair of stupid dorky pajama shorts, she followed the dog, hair messed up and arms folded across her chest.

Eren got up a little slowly but, upon smelling Mrs. Ackerman’s cooking, immediately jumped at the chance of having food. The poor guy only just managed to get on a pair of Levi’s three quarter length summer pajama shorts – bright blue with small green flowers on them and lace rimming the ends of the legs – before he was practically forced into the kitchen by the smell.

When he got there, both women were already seated at their little dining table. They never really had many guests over, aside from the Yeager Family and maybe some friends, but whenever that was the occasion they would just sit out the back and talk rather than have a formal dinner.

So, hence the tiny dining table.

It only had five seats, as Eren’s father was not a frequent visitor, like his sister, Mikasa (a good friend of Levi’s as well) and his mother. When he did come over on the rare occasion, sure, they’d pull out an extra chair, but it was a round dining table, so it often stayed at five.

Today, two seats were missing, brushed aside by the ladies, so that there were only three, two of which were, obviously, occupied. The final seat had in front of it a delicious meal of Mrs. Ackerman’s barbeque chicken kebabs – y’know, the ones you buy from the deli, on the skewers – in a salad with iceberg lettuce, tomato wedges, mango slices, and cucumber.

By far one of his favourite Ackerman Meals.

And so they sat, mostly in silence, drinking their cold cans of Coke and eating a salad lazy in preparation but definitely not lazy in taste, the only sounds really being the occasional conversation, the dog scoffing down his own dinner, and the steady hum of five thousand fans around the house.

Too bad they were out of Milo cereal.

 


	4. school days and instant coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first morning of school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes i have updated this two days in a row dont judge me ok i know im working on this one more than my others butttt idk i've just had that many ideas for this one it's phenomenal.
> 
> slang
> 
> Moccona = a type of instant coffee that my entire family drinks  
> australian school years go from prep (first year of primary school (elementary school for u dumbos)) to year 12. they are all in year 12.  
> a year 12 common room is pretty self explanatory, but basically its where year 12s go when they have free periods or to like... hang out  
> Legal is a subject. armin and levi do criminal law.  
> australian terms (for school) are different than american's, but basically a term is around 11 weeks, and there are two terms a semester; there are two semesters, with two week breaks in between, and then there's the summer/christmas holidays which go for six weeks over december and january. the school year starts around late january to early february and ends around christmas time.
> 
> and this has been your daily australian knowledgeee

She woke up the following morning unfortunately without a warm body next to her.

Eren stuck around for a few more hours for them to both study and do any homework they had – which was less than usual, thank god – before his mum called to tell him to come home. So, no warm body next to her.

She frowned and rolled over continuously until she fell off the bed. Even then, she still took a couple of minutes to actually get up.

Once she was, in fact, up, the first thing she did was shut off her goddamn alarm clock and go make a coffee. Her shower could wait a few minutes; she needed a coffee and a cigarette.

When she reached the kitchen, her mum was already there, standing over two mugs with the electric kettle and the jug of milk next to her. “’Morning,” she mumbled, moving to stand next to her mother.

Her mum laughed. “’Morning, sunshine.” She poured milk into the mugs. Pushed one towards Levi. Levi grabbed the mug by the apparently weird way she did. Took a sip and set it down.

“Ah, instant coffee,” she began, taking another sip. “Perfect for waking up at six thirty in the morning.”

Her mother laughed, but didn’t deny it. Simply grabbed her packet of cigarettes, took one, lit it, and passed it to Levi. She copied the action, and they just sat, nursing shitty cups of shitty instant coffee and cigarettes.

Once both ‘delicacies’ were finished, Levi finally acknowledged how dirty she felt. Add non-stop sweat to the equation, and boy did she need a shower as soon as possible.

She straightened up quickly, stubbing the remains of her cigarette into the ashtray and drinking the last of the coffee. “Alright,” she announced, dragging out the ‘I’ slightly. “I am going to go have a shower, because I feel really, really yuck.”

And off she went, first to her bedroom to grab her uniform, then to the bathroom to have her shower. Yay.

* * *

 

The best thing about waking up so early was that Levi could find the cure for cancer in the shower and she still wouldn’t be late to school. That and the fact that she and Eren caught the early bus.

However, she decided to be quick this morning, so after towelling herself dry and getting on at least some underwear, she wrapped her hair up in a shitty bun and started on her makeup. It was simple makeup, merely just a little bit of foundation and mascara, as well as tidying up her eyebrows ever so slightly.

A knock on the door paused her hand movements. She let out a loud ‘yeah’, formulated as a question, considering the fact that the door was as thick as her fucking thighs. A rattle of the doorknob, another knock, and she figured it was easier to just let the person in before they tried to knock the damn door down.

With a twist of the doorknob, the person in question was rushing in as quickly as they could. She simply went back to her mascara.

“Couldn’t have waited ‘till I was dressed?”

“Nope.” They – _he –_ replied, already dressed in his own uniform of really dark navy blue shorts and a white button up shirt. And, because their entire friend group could not give less shits about the uniform policy, black socks and non-school shoes. All black Vans, as they all had, to be specific.

“Yeah, well, pass me my dress.” Levi put the mascara brush back in its tube, holding her hand out for the dress.

The person – Eren – obliged, and soon she was in her own dress, a really dark navy blue thing with the barest hints of white overlapping lines, with borderline blood-red buttons and the same colour rimming the collar and about an inch from the edge of the sleeves. And this weird ass thing on the back that no one knows its true purpose.

Levi turned on Eren, comb between her teeth, and started working on his hair just as he started working on her buttons. It was almost like a routine for them, where she made them both look pretty, whilst he fixed up anything on their clothes that they’d missed.

“Do you want mascara today?” Levi questioned, dragging the comb aggressively through his hair. He nodded, moving to rummage through the makeup draw for his personal tube of mascara. He held onto it until she was done with a comb, then he passed it to her, shook his head to fluff up his hair a little bit more, and laughed at the look she gave him.

“Whatever.” Levi muttered, already moving to put on his mascara. Like hell she would let him do it; last time she trusted him with that shit it ended up _all_ over his eyelids. Ruined the wand, too.

“Now, stay the fuck still, because I am not interested in trying to get mascara off of your fucking eyelids again.”

He nodded. It wasn’t the best of memories for either of them.

But alas, they powered through that, as well as whatever else they had to do.

So, as it turns out, they managed to collectively power through making lunch, packing their bags full of whatever notebooks and textbooks they’d taken home, their laptops, their pencil cases, and anything else they’d forgotten; at the same time, they both managed to simultaneously finish getting dressed however they needed. For Levi, she just needed some shorts for under her dress (like hell she was going to give horny year eight boys the chance to look up her dress), some also black socks, and her own pair of all black Vans.

Yeah, it was a bit of a wild morning for them both.

* * *

 

They stood at the bus stop, bags on their backs and cigarettes between their teeth, awaiting the aforementioned bus.

It was quiet. It was peaceful. It was nice.

They stood side by side, patiently, taking occasional drags from their smokes, and only now did they decide to strike up conversation.

“Oh yeah,” Eren began, taking a quick inhale, “What do we have first period?”

“Free period.” Levi answered quickly, almost before he’d finished his sentence. He made a face with squinted eyes, as though he were mulling over the information, before he made an almost appreciative face. “Sweet,” he instigated again, “That means we get to hang out in the VCE Lounge.” He made another quick appreciative face. “And we get to see Pixis.”

Now that had peaked Levi’s interest slightly. “Really?” She made a face of pseudo-surprise, but it swiftly changed into one more excited. “Ooh. That means more instant coffee.” But alas, her eyes squinted, and she stared at the pavement, taking a long drag from the cigarette that was just barely hanging on. She saved it from its misery.

“Ah, shit,” she inaugurated, “We gotta make sure we hide it.” A pause. “Remember the last time _she_ got into that?”

Eren nodded solemnly. It was silent once again.

The bus pulled up with a squeal of the wheels, then a squeal of the door, then they were rushed with the surprisingly loud chatter of some younger students. They both pulled out their Myki cards, tapped on, and moved instantly to the back, where a few year sevens were sitting and talking obnoxiously.

The bus fell silent, apart from the year sevens. But that only really peaked their interest, or at least made them a little quieter.

Levi walked up the bus aisle first. There were only small smiles and the occasional ‘good morning’ from her as she walked up to the back of the bus. Eren simply trailed behind, towering over the short female of 5’2’’ by several inches, he himself standing at just under 6’0’’. Match that with the impervious glare in Levi’s eyes, and the tattoos on his biceps only just showing under his shirt, and you had a pretty frightening match.

The year sevens cowered. Stood up and moved away from the back. Eren and Levi took their spots.

The bus driver’s laugh bellowed through the bus. “Levi, are you terrorising the new kids?”

She purposely hesitated. “No…” she replied, dragging out the ‘o’, and steadily bringing it up to a higher pitch.

The bus driver laughed again. “Still the same, you are.”

And soon enough, the bus was filled with less obnoxious chatter.

Pretty nice for a Monday morning.

* * *

 

How the hell he’d managed to get into a political argument with Levi was beyond him.

“I’m just saying, I think that old people shouldn’t be allowed to vote, because they’ll all be dead before they can see Liberal fuck themselves over.”

Eren was silent.

“You know she has a point, dude.”

They both looked up at the newcoming voice. Eren called out the newcomer’s name excitedly.

“Armin!” He dragged out the ‘I’.

Armin laughed, his blonde ‘man-bun’ shaking a little bit with the light chuckles. Levi and Eren moved their legs from where they were rested on the bus seats, and he sat between them. They both put their feet on his lap. He put his arms on their feet.

“So,” he turned to Levi. “Did you do that Legal assignment?”

“Yep.” She replied, popping her lips on the ‘p.’ “When you have a teacher like Rico, you kinda hafta.”

They both nodded somberly in agreement.

There was a beat of silence between them all before Armin sighed and slumped in the seat. Eren and Levi glanced at each other. Back at him. Leaned forward towards him.

“What’s up, buddy?” Levi queried, bending her knees and loosely wrapping her arms around them. Armin glanced at her.

“Parents have been on my arse lately. Pissin’ me off like all hell.”

“Ooh, did you finally brace…” Eren paused for effect. “ _That_ topic?”

Armin nodded, all of a sudden looking really, really down. Levi wrapped her arms around him. Eren followed.

“Aww, it’s okay. Mummy’s here.” She held, jutting out her lips in a pout and putting on a borderline baby voice. Eren simply stroked his hair, making quiet ‘shh’ noises. “It’s okay to cry, baby.” He said after a while, using the same pouty baby voice Levi did.

Armin just sat there. Let them do their thing.

They stayed like that for the rest of the ride.

* * *

 

The best thing about being in your last year of high school was that:

  1.     You got a free period.
  2.     You got to spend that free period in a lounge made specifically for you.
  3.     All of your teachers either permanently love you or hate you.



So there they were, seated in the Common room at just gone eight in the morning, awaiting the rest of their friend group.

Armin had been the one to make them all coffee that morning, already putting the appropriate amount of Moccona and sugar in the respective mugs of each year twelve. It wasn’t a very big school, so there wasn’t a lot of year twelves, only a selective few outside of their personal friend group of thirteen people.

They all sat in silence, Levi and Armin taking that opportunity to go over Rico’s homework and help each other. Sure, Armin could possibly do it all on his own if he wanted to, but they both concentrated just as much, and besides, Rico’s class was _hard._

Woman did _not_ know the meaning of mercy.

The only sound was the odd ‘hello’ here and there towards people who came in, or the sporadic sip of coffee here and there.

There was only steady noise when the next member of their friend group entered.

“Hey, Hanji.” Eren flicked his chin in acknowledgement towards the newcomer.

Even she knew not to speak loudly in the lounge.

Hanji turned towards Eren. Set her bag next to the couch he was on and plopped right down next to him.

“’Sup.” She supplied, not taking her eyes off of Levi and Armin. She made the same flick-chin movement Eren had. “What are they doing?” She spoke real low, as to not disturb them.

Eren looked up from his own skimming of notebooks. “Legal stuff.”

Hanji’s mouth formed an ‘o’. “Rico’s?”

“Yup.”

Everyone in the room sucked in a sympathetic and understanding intake of air through their teeth, their eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Ooh, that’s gotta be tough.” Hanji offered unsupportively.

Both Levi and Armin lifted their heads, a glare already in their eyes. “Shut up.” They growled in chorus. Eren and Hanji lifted their hands up in silent surrender.

And they developed a pattern of occasional whispering on Levi and Armin’s behalf, and a steady albeit low conversation between those not having to study. Which was pretty much everyone else in the lounge, when you think about it.

And thus began the first day of the second term began for them all.

What a joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is pedoseidon btw


	5. 'girl' talk and old man pixis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introducing pixis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *anime schoolgirl voice* sORRY IM LATE
> 
> i've had school n other shit going on that i wont dwell on buuutttt without further ado im here im queer im... not gay
> 
> slang!!!
> 
> milkbar = basically like a convenience store but like.... not??? idk hard to explain but just think of like a convenience store ok??????????????
> 
> i think thats it????? if i missed anything do tell me
> 
> also: feedback is always welcome. i love waking up to nice comments uwu

The odd thing about having been with the same teacher’s your entire school life was that you eventually become very well acquainted with the principal, funnily enough.

So they could pretty much always tell when the aforementioned principal – an old drunk called Pixis – was before them.

“Well, it’s certainly tense in here.” The old man laughed, a heavy bellow that echoed through the lounge.

Armin and Levi lifted their heads a little, muttered hellos through gritted teeth, and went back to what they were working on. Someone had the courtesy to make them some more coffee, bless their souls, so the crossword they had found was being done. Just not at the rate they’d like it to.

Hanji joined in on the crossword action, but she was getting on both of their nerves, because she was not even trying. Levi was contemplating homicide at that point.

Pixis sat down next to Eren, taking Hanji’s spot, as she had migrated to the floor to join the other two. No one bothered to bring her a cup of coffee. Lord knows she needs it. Oddly enough, no one brought Pixis a cup either. Then again, old man probably had a flask on him, so there was really know point if he was going to be pissed soon anyway.

(That was a lie. They just didn’t know how he had his coffee. Or if he even drank coffee.)

Eren chewed on his pinkie nail, staring blankly at the three seated on the floor. He seemed completely off with the fucking fairies. But, they left him there. No point pissing him off if it meant a bad day for everyone.

“So,” Pixis began, sipping his mystery flask quickly. “Where are the rest of your friends?”

Hanji was the one to reply. “Jean, Connie, and Sasha are probably getting in some morning smokes. Reiner and Bert are probably with Annie; y’know, that short little girl from… what was it…”

“Rose.” Eren supplied, still not quite there.

“Yeah, Rose. The prestigious school that always talk really loudly on the bus.”

Pixis nodded. He knew the school. “Yeah, well, better than a bunch of ratbags. Unlike you lot.”

Armin laughed a little for the first time that morning. “Well, you’re not wrong. Hanji’s hair’s got as many kinks as a Japanese pornstar.”

Eren fell out of his seat laughing.

* * *

 

After being heavily berated by a passing teacher about his language, Armin, surprisingly enough, found himself seated in the corner of the room, on the Shame Box. It was just an upturned box, but it was the dubbed the Shame Box because whoever said something shameful – generally anyone who said a terrible pun – was forced to sit there until classes began.

How it was enforced, no one knows. They all suspect it was because one time in year nine Eren made a shitty pun and thus was forced to sit in the corner. But now they just collectively agreed that that was a thing.

So, there he sat, in the silence, with nothing to do, in the shame box. Levi and Eren felt no pity. Hanji did, but that was Hanji, the girl with five hundred different animals she’s found on her many, _many…_ ‘adventures’.

Hell, this chick had two fucking blue tongue lizards she’d just randomly found in her backyard. And, like, a shit ton of huntsman spiders.

But Levi only really thought she felt sorry for him because she couldn’t deny it. Her ponytail did have as many kinks as a Japanese pornstar.

Or a fanfic writer. But she’d rather not delve into how she knew that.

It sucked that Armin had made the comment when they were stuck on a really hard word, because Hanji wasn’t helping and she just couldn’t get it. Whatever. It could fucking wait.

She pushed the blunt end of her pencil into the middle of her forehead, pushing all the skin up and making her look funny. She pouted. Hanji laughed at her.

“What’s the hint?” She asked, still kinda giggling.

Levi annoyingly pushed the book towards her and slammed her head down on the table, making an elongated groan. Hanji laughed again. Took the pencil and looked at the hint.

Her face fell. “Oh shit.”

A muffled agreement that sounded vaguely like “I told you so.”

Hanji stared at the book for a while. Closed her eyes and put herself in the same position as Levi had.

Eren laughed at them both. “I’m sure it’s not _that_ hard.” He said. He reached down and picked up the book, sitting himself down next to Hanji. He stared at the book. Looked at the hint.

His face fell. “Oh.”

Two muffled agreements.

Eren stared at the book just as they both had. But it was futile; five minutes later, the crossword book was across the room, and three heads were dropped onto the table in the same position.

**Crossword: 1  
Group of year twelves: 0**

* * *

 

When Jean, Connie, and Sasha walked into the Common room, they were not expecting three heads to be simultaneously – albeit painfully slowly – slamming into the coffee table in the middle of the room.

Pixis happily turned to them with a smile. “Good morning, you three.”

They all mumbled good mornings.

Jean scanned the lounge for anything that might have brought the three to their demise; four half full coffee mugs sat on the table next to the three heads, various other bits and pieces scattered around the room, and, oddly enough, Armin seated in the Shame Box.

Well, that just had Jean laughing his goddamn head off.

Connie and Sasha looked at him like he was crazy. He was trying so hard to get a sentence out, but he kept choking on his laughs every time he did.

“He… he… he…” he managed over a span of several seconds. “He just… he looks so fucking _pitiful!”_

Armin glared at him a little bit. Sasha and Connie, curious as to who exactly looked pitiful, turned around and followed where Jean was pointing.

And then they promptly burst out into laughter, too.

Levi ceased her literal head banging. Lifted her head and rested it on the side, the cool wooden table resting against her cheek. She gave a not very enthusiastic and borderline defeated ‘sup’ towards the three at the door.

Having cleaned themselves up from their laughter spells, they waved hello back and bid her good morning.

Hanji lifted her head next. She sat up straight with her back pressed against the couch behind her, her legs crossed, hands in her lap with their pen in her hands. She enthusiastically waved at the trio with both hands, even though one hand was indeed holding a pen, she still waved hello.

“Hey, guys!” She said, voice carrying as much enthusiasm as her hands.

Sasha and Connie waved back just as enthusiastically. They both went to sit on the couches together.

Jean sat behind Eren; like hell were Connie and Sasha going to give up the couch they’d taken over with their entire bodies. Even the dumbest of people could see that.

Eren leaned back into Jean; Jean wrapped his arms loosely around Eren’s shoulders. “Hey baby.” He said, making gross kissing noises and dragging out the ‘a’ and the ‘y’. Eren threw his head back into Jean’s lap and made even grosser kissy noises.

Jean’s hand smushed into his face, squishing Eren’s nose and fucking up his face as he laughed.

Jean’s fingers grabbed Eren’s face itself; they squashed his cheeks, giving him fishy lips, which only made Jean laugh harder.

Eren struggled to get him off.

A thundering laugh from the doorway was the only thing that stopped them in their play fighting. “You guys really have to learn how to play nice. You’re like a couple of dogs, honestly.” An equally thundering voice spoke.

They all turned their heads to the source. Reiner and Bertoldt had just arrived.

Connie jumped up and ran towards Bertoldt, his name already escaping his vocal cords at a reasonably high volume. He jogged, he jumped, he expected Bertoldt to catch him.

And poor Bertoldt, panicking in his already constant state of anxiety, was forced to catch him. He wasn’t expecting Connie to land a fat sloppy kiss on his cheek and then roll out of his arms back to Sasha on the couch.

Reiner clapped the stunned Bertoldt on the back with another laugh. “C’mon, Berty,” he said, a big grin stretching his lips. “You want some coffee?”

Bertoldt nodded shyly.

Levi sat up and dug around in her pockets. “Hey, Bertoldt,” she called. The giant in question turned to her with his eyebrows raised invitingly. She brought her hand out of her pocket and chucked him her packet of cigarettes. He fumbled to catch them, but when he did, he looked at her, confusion apparent on his face.

“You look like you needed one.” She offered with a shrug. She stood up and went to pick up the crossword book. Sat down, stole the pen back from Hanji, and went on with it.

They all stared at her in silence. And there was a pause.

“In case you were all wondering, I’m very tired and sick of people yelling. That’s why I did something ‘out of character’. To shut you all up.” She turned on to the next page without lifting her head. “Sounds like it worked wonders.”

There was another pause.

Didn’t last long before most of them burst into laughter.

* * *

 

Once everyone within their little friend group was seated, they all knew they had the same question on their mind. The only thing now was, who was going to ask it?

And as it turns out, that person was Hanji.

“Where’s Mikasa?” She finally said, breaching the topic after all. All eyes turned to Eren.

“She’s… sick.” He offered. No one commented on the pause.

Sasha looked at him with almost pity. “Sunstroke again?”

A solemn nod, a pause, and then five hundred groans.

“We told her. We fucking told her.”

“For someone so smart, she can really be fucking stupid sometimes.”

“I mean, seriously. After the last three years, wouldn’t you eventually give up on the fucking tan?”

“Apparently not.”

“God-fucking-dammnit.”

And so forth.

Hell, even those not in their selective friend group groaned. Everyone knew how susceptible to sunstroke Mikasa was; it lost its secrecy status when she got it for the fourth time.

A sense of calm fell over the year twelve students that occupied the Year 12 Common room of Shiganshina Secondary College. Eren had migrated onto Jean’s lap, and Armin, having been finally let out of the Shame Box, had transferred to Eren’s lap, so Sasha, Hanji, and Levi were the ones who’d decided to sit around the table of truth and fortune.

“Ugh,” Sasha began, folding her arms on the table and resting her chin on them. “I think I’m due soon. Y’know when you get cramps beforehand?”

“Ooh, yeah,” Hanji added. “I’ve been getting them for the past week and it’s pissing me off so bad.”

Levi groaned and leant back into the couch. “Ugh, don’t get me started. I’m due in like, two days. And my cramps get so bad I throw up. It sucks.” She complained. Sasha and Hanji stared at her apologetically. They knew the feeling.

The boys stared at them with faces of sort-of-but-not-quite-there-disgust. This was _not_ a pretty conversation.

“Okay,” Jean breathed in pain, “This is starting to hurt.” He placed his hands on Eren’s back and pushed without much effort, but goddammnit Eren the stubborn bastard refused to move. Armin, bless his soul, laughed and sat down next to Levi, his original spot.

“Yeah, I get cramps, but not that bad. It’s kinda just an inconvenience, y’know?” He offered. Hanji knew exactly what he was talking.

“Ooh, yeah, I get those kinds more or less after it. But it sucks because I have such a heavy flow, so even though I don’t get bad cramps, I still go through, like, five hundred million pads, and I always know it’s there.”

Now it was Levi’s turn to make a disgusted face.

“My flow’s as indecisive as Melbourne weather.”

Sasha laughed. “This chick gets it.” She said, pointing lazily at Levi. Levi pointed back, and they went in for a high five.

Hanji sipped on the Slurpee she’d brought with her, before making a face of realisation and an “mmn” noise around the straw. “I just remembered,” she began, one arm sort of hovering in the air, and the other setting down her drink. “Someone bought the milkbar down the road.”

Connie sat up; his face was pulled into an expression of utmost grief, with a hint of betrayal. “But… but… what about Gunther? Who’ll give us an extra packet of gum with every purchase?”

“Nah, mate, you’ve got it all wrong,” Hanji inquired. “Gunther’s just the register guy. We never met who actually owned the place.” She took another sip of her Slurpee. “Dunno if these owners are gonna be more social than the last.”

Connie smiled and lay back down. He looked purely ecstatic with that information.

Levi glanced at him over her shoulder. She sighed. “Well, does anyone wanna come with me third period to check it out? That’s when I’ve got…” she shivered. “ _Shadis._ ”

Jean went pale. “Oh, fuck, count me in, sister.”

And they both sat there, like they’d seen a ghost.

Shadis was someone no one was able to deal with for a full period.

* * *

 

“Alright, who’s in need of smokes?”

It was at the beginning of period three that they’d all decided to meet up at their locker bay – why the hell the school didn’t have the system of boy locker bays and girl locker bays was beyond them, but hey, they did it in order of year levels, so that was pretty good – so that Jean and Levi could make the milkbar run and suss out the new owners.

Most of them put their hands up.

“Alright, so, Eren, Hanji, Armin, Bertl, and… Jean, do you need any?” Levi counted them all off.

Jean nodded.

“Alright, and me and you.”

Jean nodded again. They all kind of dissipated into whatever classes they had together, which, as it turns out, they were all in mini groups for their classes. Hanji, Eren, Reiner, and Armin all had Biology, Connie, Sasha, and Bertoldt had Home Economics, and Levi and Jean had German; and the only reason _they_ were making the trip but no one else was wasn’t just because of the teacher.

It was what they did to the teacher every single class.

Everyone could see it. They were quite possibly the biggest shits in the class. Sure, they did all the work, but boy did they sass out that teacher.

So, that was why they were making the trip and no one else was.

“Okay, hand in your twenties.” Jean announced, and both him and Levi held out their hands for the awaiting money. Like hell were they paying for everyone’s cigarettes with their own money.

Four twenty dollar notes were placed into their awaiting palms; two each, apparently.

“Al-righ-ty-then,” Levi separated each syllable for emphasis. She turned to Jean, putting the twenties into their pockets. “Let’s-a go.”

And so off they went, so the milkbar where they always did their runs, to find out who the new owners were.

Adventure awaits.


	6. milkbar runs and pissing off the german teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meet the owners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD Y'ALL I'D BE BACK SOON AND ALAS HERE I AM!!
> 
> uhhh.... i dont know if there's any slang that i havent covered... but i do have a comment:  
> at the beginning, a small fraction of the dialogue between jean and levi could be considered racist and probably will be perceived as that but let me just clarify that you could walk into practically every fish and chip shop or milkbar and you will most likely see an asian family running the business. there is nothing wrong with that, and i had no intention of putting forth the idea that there is something wrong with that. it's just an odd little fact that was mentioned in casual conversation, and my intentions were entirely innocent.
> 
> but, i dont want to keep you all, so please, enjoy this chapter and i will see you... whenever!

“What do you think the new owners are gonna be like?”

They were halfway to the milkbar when Jean asked Levi the question they were both thinking about. They’d both tried conjuring up a solid-ish version as to what the new owners were gonna be like in their heads, but they both knew it was futile.

So, the only logical explanation would be to discuss it.

“Do you think they’ll be, like, a family, or just one person?”

“I dunno, maybe a couple?”

“Probably Asian, too.”

Jean laughed. “When aren’t they?”

Levi shrugged a little. Made a kind of “you tell me” face.

They walked in silence for a little longer, passing various houses before coming to the strip of shops that the milkbar was on. There was a Cellarbrations, a news agency, a hair dresser, a photo shop, a fish and chip shop, and lastly, there on the end, the one and only milkbar.

The bell jingled above them as Levi pushed the door open. She was short, he was tall, so they both kinda just mutually agreed that she would go first, suss out the owners. Jean followed behind cautiously, looking over shelves towards the counter. She glared at him; curse his tall stature.

An even taller man came out of the door the connected the shop to the little apartment above it. That was the basic layout of every milkbar ever.

The man had sandy coloured blonde hair that fell in front of his face, a big, hooked kind of nose with a moustache the same colour as his hair, his skin vaguely pale, lips hidden behind his facial hair, the barest hints of stubble scattered along his sharp jawline.

But the thing that made Jean stop in his tracks were his _biceps._ “Damn,” Jean whispered, making Levi straighten up on her tippy toes and look through the shelf she could. Her jaw dropped open at the sight of the man.

“Well, bend me over and fuck me silly…” Jean muttered, apparently unaware that both occupants of the milkbar had, indeed, heard him.

The man looked up. Glanced around, before his eyes must’ve landed on Jean. Jean’s face flushed with embarrassment.

Levi held back a laugh.

She rolled her eyes, moving around the shelves with the six twenties in her hand. She walked up to the counter, Jean rushing after her, face still red.

“Hey, can we get six packets of Choice Silver?” She asked, placing the notes on the counter. She looked up at the man. He looked down at her. Jean looked at both of them.

The man shrugged and turned around, opening the little cigarette cabinet thing and grabbing the packets out. He set them down on the counter, allowing Levi to place each twenty dollar note on each packet of cigarettes. The man took each twenty, got out the correct amount of coins, put it on the packet, and moved onto the next.

They all kinda stood there awkwardly, until the man took action.

“I’m Mike, by the way.” He said. His voice was deep, and Jean looked close to fainting.

“Levi.” Levi replied, holding out her hand. Mike took it, shook it, went back to the coins.

“The prick behind me is Jean.” She added. Mike smiled at him through his moustache.

And this time, Jean did faint. Onto Levi. Who was significantly shorter than him.

She seemed completely undeterred as she shrugged him onto the floor; the thud his body made brought another person out from the back.

Now _this_ man had almost yellow hair, perfectly parted and combed down, big blue eyes similar to Armin’s, a smaller nose than Mike, but still pretty big, no signs of facial hair anywhere, and a body on par with Mike’s. But… his eyebrows…

Levi burst out laughing the minute she saw them.

The man stood there looking offended; Mike looked indifferent.

After she’d regained herself enough to sort of talk, she stared at the new man’s eyebrows with a thin smile that was obviously _not_ trying and struggling to hold in new laughter. “I-I’m sorry…” she said, and the man just _had_ to raise one of his eyebrows.

“Your… your eyebrows are just so… _magical.”_ She managed, still trying not to laugh. It was becoming increasingly difficult to, though, but she soldiered through it with a semi-straight face and her head held high in defiance, even when the man’s bright blue eyes narrowed into a glare because he could see that she was being sarcastic.

His eyebrows weren’t magical; they were fucking caterpillars.

Levi wished she was joking, but she really wasn’t. His eyebrows legitimately looked like caterpillars that had been superglued onto his face as a child. She let out a brief laugh at the thought of the man as a baby.

Jean groaned from the floor. “Whathefahk…” he mumbled with a snort. “Why th’ fahk ‘m I on th’ floor…?”

Levi turned to him. “You collapsed because the cashier’s biceps are on par with Captain America.”

He sat up, looking a little confused. “R’lly?”

“Yeah.”

Levi helped him up. He looked tired, his hands messing up his hair, his eyes squinted and his eyebrows furrowed in thought. He took a moment to stare at the two behind the counter, his expression confused. But not before his eyes widened and he took a step back.

“Holy shit… you’re right!” He exclaimed. Levi managed to keep a semi-straight face once more. Jean narrowed his eyes at both of their biceps. “They both do!”

Levi rolled her eyes. Turned back to the two behind the counter and shook her head. She took her phone out of her dress pocket and unlocked it, opening up the Messages app and sending a group message to their… well, group message.

**_Levi: yall have enough to get a drink each so what do you want_ **

Jean looked over her shoulder. They both waited patiently for a reply. To kill time, however, they simply started talking either to each other or to the other two men.

“So, why aren’t you guys in school?” The blonder one asked.

Jean and Levi looked at him until he sulked back. “Because our teacher sucks.” Jean said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The two behind the counter looked at each other. Shrugged.

Levi narrowed her eyes at the blonder one. “Did you tell us your name, Eyebrows?” She said bluntly. The man looked at her.

“No, I don’t think I did,” he replied, tapping his chin. He held out his hand for them to shake. “Erwin.”

“Levi.” Levi said, shaking his absolutely enormous hand. She laughed as she got a sudden thought, but she’d tell Jean after the introductions. Jean shook the man’s – Erwin, she had to remember – hand, introducing himself with a simple, “I’m Jean.”

Levi gestured for him to lean down, sucking her lips in to stop herself from laughing. Jean did lean down. She cupped his hand around his ear, leant in, dropped her voice and simply stated,

“ _Yaoi hands._ ”

Jean laughed so hard he almost fell over again. He tried to play it off as a cough, but then he looked at Erwin, looked at his hands, made eye contact with Levi, and they both tried to cover up their laughter. Levi’s phone went off.

**_Hanji: I want a dr pepper!_ **   
**_Levi: you dont need any more caffeine, babe_ **   
**_Hanji: Oh, come on, levi, don’t be such a party pooper *sad emoji*_ **   
**_Eren: i’ll have what she wants_ **   
**_Armin: Can I get a coke?_ **   
**_Levi: but… but… armin… after all that rehab…?_ **

Jean laughed at that one.

**_Armin: Shut up and just get me a damn coke ya prick._ **   
**_Connie: yo gimme a fantaaaaaaaaaaa_ **   
**_Levi: connie you dont even fucking smoke shut up_ **   
**_Connie: :((((((((((_ **   
**_Sasha: use my change to get a fanta lmfao well just share it_ **   
**_Jean: sash u didnt even getsmokes shaddap_ **   
**_Sasha: *angry emoji* *redfaced angry emoji*_ **   
**_Levi: what do you want bert_ **   
**_Bertoldt: Uh… just get me a grape fanta…_ **   
**_Levi: what is with you people and fanta its a shit drink_ **   
**_Hanji: Yeah well if u dont get the monkeys some fanta u’ll have to pay the price babe_ **   
**_Levi: shhh babe shhh_ **   
**_Hanji: *wink emoji* *kiss emoji*_ **

Jean groaned. “Fuck, now we have to carry it all back.” He whined, throwing his neck back. Levi slapped him lightly on the cheek with a fair bit of difficulty. Curse her short legs. “C’mon, you can manage. It’s literally, like, five minutes.” She moved towards the drink fridges, eyes still glued to what everyone wants. Jean lagged behind reluctantly.

“Alright, two Dr. Peppers, a grape Fanta, and a Coke,” she paused whilst reaching for the Coke. Her thumb quickly typed out a message.

**_Levi: armin what type of coke do you want_ **

She waited, taking the already gathered drinks to the counter and placing the change on each drink. Her phone went off in her hand.

**_Armin: Cherry please and thank you._ **

“Jean.” Levi called.

“On it.” He called back. Jean came to the counter with a Cherry Coke and another goddamn fucking can of Fanta. Levi threw her hands up in exasperation. “Grape fucking Fanta!” She said, slamming her hands back onto the counter; she contemplated taking her head with it.

Jean shrugged. “Marco likes it.”

He stopped. He realised what he’d said. Levi stopped. Levi realised what he said. Erwin and Mike looked at each other.

Jean’s face fell. He swallowed thickly as he watched Levi turn around slowly. Her face was blank, devoid of emotion, sure, but no, he could see that there was something else brewing; something mischievous – and therefore, deadly.

“Who’s Marco?” She hummed, her lips curving upward the slightest bit.

“No one.” Jean said, all too quickly. He evaded eye contact as much as possible, but he knew he was gone. He knew that she was _not_ gonna let up. He groaned, throwing his head back and groaning even louder at the ceiling of the milkbar. “He’s the really freckly one in German.” He said, dropping his head and looking straight forward, right at Erwin.

Levi’s mouth dropped open as she considered the answer. _“That’s_ Marco?” she said, unbelieving. “But… he’s so _cute.”_

Jean nodded, the corners of his mouth turned up into a dreamy smile. “Mhmm.”

“And he’s _such_ an angel.”

“Mhmm.”

“I bet he’s big, too.”

That snapped Jean out of his little reverie. His face went bright red at the thought. “Maybe his dick has little freckles on it.” Levi said, basking in the fact that Jean’s face and ears went as red as a goddamn tomato.

Scratch that; he was _much_ redder.

Levi smirked, placed the last of the coins on top of the drinks as Jean put them down on the counter himself. Mike wrung them all up, putting every pair of drink and cigarette packet into those little backs that all milkbars had and splitting the bags in half, handing each half to both Levi and Jean.

“Nice to meet you both.” Erwin said, shuffling awkwardly out back. They watched him go; Mike turned back to them. Levi stuck out her hand for him to shake. He did.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” She said, vaguely sarcastically. Jean simply waved goodbye with a little ‘farewell’ to boot.

The bell jingled above them as they left; now all they had to do was… face… Shadis…

They both shuddered at the thought.

That was _not_ going to be fun.

* * *

 

When they walked into the German class, all eyes were on them.

“Where the bloody hell have you two been?” Shadis said, his cheeks puffed out with anger. And stubbornness.

“Buying smokes, sir.” Levi said, taking a seat. Their classroom tables and whatnot was arranged in a ‘U’ shape, so she and Jean took their post at the back, right in the centre. Jean went around the table; Levi did not.

“Levi, off the damn table!” Shadis yelled at her. She rolled her eyes, jumping down and into the chair, propping one foot up onto the edge of the table and pushing back so that she was leaning on her chair. She took out her drink from her little plastic bag, tapping a fingernail on the top and cracking it open especially loudly. She took a sip, set the can back down onto the table, all the while staring Shadis in the eyes.

He took in a deep breath. Stalked over to her table, a meter ruler in his hands. He smacked it on the table loudly. The whole class jumped.

Shadis leaned in close to Levi; she simply held her head high, a defiant look blazing in her eyes like a stoner on a Friday night. He took in another deep breath. “Get your damn foot off the table,” he started, his voice low. “And _sit properly.”_

Shadis’s last words were practically yelled right in her face, but she did not cower, for she was the hero Shadis’s German class needed. Levi rolled her eyes dramatically, putting her foot down and sitting as mockingly straight as possible as she puts the front legs of the chair down onto the shitty carpet of the shitty classroom.

Levi looked around the room. “Can we borrow someone’s notes?”

Someone – a little redhead she never bothered to learn the name of entirely – shoved her notebook towards Jean and Levi. As it turned out, they’d both missed a bunch of stuff, so the rest of the class was working on some stupid-arse worksheet about the notes they just took. Levi and Jean hurriedly copied it all down, Levi a little neater than Jean.

But hey, she was a notorious neatfreak, what do you expect?

And thus, they sat like that, in complete silence for just under four minutes before Levi put up her hand. Shadis groaned when he noticed.

“What is it _now,_ Levi?” He said, striding smoothly over to them. “I _do_ have other students to help, you know.”

Levi didn’t look up; nor did she acknowledge the comment. “Um, yes, I have a question,” she said, slowly lowering her hand, pushing the edge of her pen into her bottom lip. “How would I say, 'My teacher sucks' in German?” She looked up at him, completely innocent on the face... not so innocent in the eyes.

Shadis resisted the urge to smack the girl right then and there. He simply walked off, leaving Jean to attempt to quietly giggle at the remark.

The rest of the class didn’t do so well.

But oh well. What's school without a little fun, right?

... _Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honey, you've got a big storm comin'.
> 
> i am so so sos so sos sos so sos sos sos o SO sorry it's so effin' late but i've been sick and i've had school and I'M IN A MUSICAL SO YAY REHEARSALS!! and i've also really struggled with whether or not my chapters are quality or whatever sooooooooooo yeah.
> 
> pls stand by for next chapter!!!


	7. big news and mama hanji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hanji to the rescue, solving all the problems in the fam fam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all have been warned
> 
> but i have a question for you all: am i writing these characters ooc or is it just my imagination
> 
> alas, there's only one little thing people might know in this, and it's that Priceline is a pharmacy. a drug store, if you will. oh, and to say something's 'dog' it p much just means that it was a shit thing to do
> 
> sorry for keeping you guys a lil bit; enjoy the early-ish but still kinda short chapter!

For the most part, German went pretty well, apart from a little… incident.

Levi rushed to raise her hand as a wave of nausea washed over her. She clapped a hand over her mouth and hurriedly ‘yelled’ out, “Sir, I feel really sick.”

When Shadis only glanced at her, she tried again. “Sir, I feel as though I am going to throw up on the carpet.”

 _That_ caught his attention. And everyone else’s.

Jean, being the closest, immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her out of her seat towards the window. He had only just opened it and stuffed her head out the window before she, effectively, threw up, narrowly missing his shoes. Jean scowled. Levi scowled.

The window of the class next to them burst open in a rush, several heads popping out at the sounds of vicious vomiting. It was the Biology class.

“Holy fucking shit,” Armin said, his face going green. He looked ready to throw up, too. Jean glanced out the window at the voice, hand rubbing Levi’s back.

“Oh, hey guys,” he said, looking at Levi with sympathy in his eyes. Levi herself held her head up lazily, hair falling in her eyes. She simply groaned, closed her eyes and tried to see whether or not she was alright.

She wasn’t.

Sounds of retching filled their ears, and they all cringed into oblivion. Armin was starting to look very, very queasy. Reiner ushered him back inside before he himself could begin throwing up. Eren and Hanji simply stared at Jean and Levi with the same sympathy in their eyes.

Hanji turned back into the classroom and yelled something Levi could only just hear. “Miss, can we go into the classroom next door? Levi’s sick.”

A muffled response, before she disappeared, and footsteps bounded down the hallway. Eren just… watched.

Jean pulled Levi’s hair back from her face; she’d be even more upset if she got any in her hair. She gave him a shaky thumbs up, and he helped her back into the classroom, sitting her down under it against the wall. Hanji rushed up to them, Shadis yelling at her all the way. She started dabbing Levi’s face with a napkin, Levi’s eyes dazed, not really focused, but at the same time trying her hardest not to spew all over the place. She mumbled her thanks to Hanji for cleaning her up.

“Alright, babe,” Hanji said, hooking Levi’s arm over her shoulder and preparing to pick her up princess style. They’d been friends for that long that she just _knew_ that when Levi got sick, _she got sick._ Hanji carried Levi out of the classroom bridal style, Levi having no room to complain, considering she felt as though the slightest little groan could cause her to projectile vomit all over Hanji and everyone in the vicinity, all the while Shadis _still_ yelling at Hanji.

Levi, if anything, simply curled into Hanji, enjoying her warmth and surprisingly motherly presence. But something didn’t feel right about it.

She just had to find out _what._

* * *

 

She woke up on her bed, in her pajamas, for some god awful reason.

Hanji walked in with that strange little sixth sense of hers, her head poking in from outside the door. “Sup, babe,” she said, pushing her luck and coming in, a mug in her hand. She walked over to Levi who, at some stage during her little nap, had begun clutching and cuddling a mixing bowl that Hanji had brought in case she threw up.

“Sup.” She offered tiredly, half of her face buried in her shitty little pillow. Hanji set the mug on the bedside table beside her, helping Levi into a more appropriate seating position. Hanji sat on the edge of the bed.

“I made you tea.” She said, smiling; but there was something in her eyes that seemed off.

Levi sipped the hot tea, stared at Hanji ‘till she spoke.

Hanji herself sighed. “Levi, what the fuck happened, man?”

Levi set the mug down in her lap. Stared into it. Ran a hand through her hair. “I dunno, man.” She replied, glancing up at Hanji as she spoke. Hanji simply narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

“You’re not telling me something.”

Levi’s expression went blank. “What do you mean.” She said.

Hanji leant in close to her. “You. Are not. Telling me. Everything.” She jabbed Levi in the chest with her index finger at each little section of the sentence.

Levi grabbed her finger and pressed her own to Hanji’s lips. “Shut the fuck up before I snap your finger.” She threatened, eyes narrowing dangerously. Hanji challenged her glare. “Then spill it, sister, because you know I’m not gunna let up until I’ve got answers.”

Levi pursed her lips a little bit, her tongue in her cheek. She stared at Hanji like that. Hanji stared back.

Levi finally gave in. “Alright, but you _cannot_ tell a single soul what I am about to tell you.” She pointed an accusative finger at her friend. Hanji held up her hands, as though surrendering.

“Hanji, I’m serious.”

“So am I!”

Levi eventually sighed, folding her arms on her stomach and bringing her knees up a little more. “Eren and I… may or may not have… had… sex…?” She stuttered out, her voice cracking into a question at the end.

Hanji’s jaw dropped to the floor. Levi simply stared at her knees.

“You… you _what?”_ Hanji managed, her eyebrows furrowing with disbelief. She clicked her tongue and looked away, biting on her thumbnail. “Goddamnit, now I owe Jean ten bucks.”

That made Levi look up. “Gee, thanks.” she said, her eyes narrowing once more and her eyebrows furrowing as she laced her voice with sarcasm. Hanji winced, looked up at Levi.

“Sorry.” She said, casting her eyes downwards towards her lap. Levi softened her expression a little and shrugged. “S’alright, I’m sure I would’ve done the same thing.”

Hanji shrugged back. “Still a dog thing to do.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

They sat in silence for a little bit, the only sounds being the occasional sip of tea and the clinking of fingernails against the mug. Hanji giggled and looked up at Levi with mischievous eyes.

“Well, tell me,” she said, setting down their shared mug back onto the bedside table. “Was it good?”

Levi choked on her sip of tea. She coughed out an answer, pounding a fist on her chest. “Surprisingly, yes.”

Hanji pointed at her, her lips forming on ‘o’ shape. “Ooh, that’s right, you’d never had actual penetration.”

Levi nodded. “Yeah, I’d had a couple of, like… flings, if you could even call them that, with guys from parties ‘n’ stuff.”

Hanji nodded. She’d been there, done that; still did that quite often. Hanji took a sip of the tea and passed it to Levi, her finger tapping her chin as she mulled over the situation. Levi could tell that the gossip had pretty much ended before it began. Levi watched her eyes for any signs of a potential revelation.

But Hanji simply lifted her head with her eyes wide. She stared at the ugly little lamp on Levi’s bedside table, turned to Levi, pressed the back of her hand to Levi’s forehead, and got up in a rush. “I’ll… be right back.” She said, moving out the door quickly, before Levi could say anything, leaving Levi to stare after her in complete and utter confusion.

 

Hanji closed the door to Levi’s house quietly, her fingers already scrolling through her phone contacts. She pressed a thumb to the one she wanted, fastwalking down the street to the local shopping centre with her phone to her ear.

“Armin, buddy, hey,” she said, glancing around. “Look, you’re never going to believe it, but…” she pushed her thumb and index finger of her free hand into her eyes under her glasses and let out a sigh. “Okay, I was told not to tell anyone, so you can’t tell anyone, but as both Eren and Levi’s closest friends, you have a definite right to know about this.”

 _“… Hanji, you’re scaring me.”_ Came Armin’s voice from the phone speaker. Hanji sighed again.

“Armin, Levi and Eren had platonic sex.” Armin seemed to suck in a breath at that; Hanji could tell she’d put him in a gossipy mood. “But, before you go on, I just wanted to say…”

Hanji clicked her tongue, threw her head back and groaned at the sky. Armin groaned at her through the phone. _“Hanji, get fucking on with it.”_

“Armin, Levi doesn’t have a fever to go with her vomiting.” She hissed back. “You know what that means, man, don’t you?”

She heard Armin pause. _“… Holy shit.”_

Ah, he got it. “Mhmm.” Hanji hummed loudly.

_“Holy fucking shit.”_

She paused, waiting to see if he was thinking what she was thinking.

_“Levi's pregnant, isn’t she?”_

Yep, he got it.

* * *

 

When Hanji finally came back, Levi knew immediately that something was up. It was all in the back she was holding.

“Hanji, why the fuck did you go to Priceline?” She said, sipping her newly made tea. She’d migrated to the kitchen at one point or another, feeling well enough to make her own cup of tea. She poured some of the boiled water into a mug she’d prepared for Hanji.

Hanji threw the pink bag of doom on the counter. “Look in the bag.” She said sternly.

“Hanji-“

“Look in the bag, Levi.”

Levi knew Hanji wasn’t going to give up, so she did. She grabbed the bag tentatively, pulling it towards her. She set down her mug. She opened the bag.

She immediately closed it.

“Hanji, why in God’s name did you get me a goddamn motherfucking _pregnancy test?”_ She said, looking at Hanji like she was fucking crazy. Hanji simply took the mug and the milk, finishing off making her tea and sat down at one of the counter stools.

“Because, Levi,” she said, taking a quick sip, as though trying to prepare herself for what she had to say. “You vomited all of a sudden, out of the blue, and you don’t have a fever to go with the sickness. I also noticed while you were asleep that you were drooling a lot more than you should’ve been.”

Levi just looked at her. Hanji sighed for what felt like the billionth time in the past ten minutes. “I looked up the signs of morning sickness when my sister was pregnant.”

Levi’s mouth formed an ‘o’ similar to Hanji’s had before. “That… makes sense.”

Hanji nodded.

Levi pursed her lips, glaring at the bag clenched in her fist. Hanji simply glanced at it. Levi looked back _up at Hanji._

“Okay, I see where you’re coming from,” she held up a finger before Hanji could say anything. “But, I’m going to wait a few days, just to see if I get my period or not. Okay?”

Hanji pouted. “Okay.”

And so, they would wait.

The anticipation was going to kill them, though. They just _knew_ it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "enjoy the chapter" i said, cackling in the distance.
> 
> the next couple of chapters will be p angsty so just beware because shit's gonna go the fuck down


	8. fist fights and fake friend breakups (that jean totally fell for)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> levi fucks everything up
> 
>  
> 
> the _fun_ way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus shit on a pancake is this late
> 
> id like to apologise on behalf of my productive side. turns out the procrastination side of me managed to convince them to take a break. and i got two weeks off because i finished school for the term (pretty sure ive already explained the aussie school system), and i still have four seasons of malcolm in the middle left, so...
> 
> all im saying is, id expect a few compelling arguments from the lazy asshole side of me.
> 
> anyways! slang!  
> Priceline= a pharmacy or ""drug store""  
> chips as in hot chips or fries or whatever you wanna call em  
> sickbay = first aid
> 
> idk i feel like a lot of the stuff is obvious
> 
> (jk its like 12:30 in the morning im tired dont judge me)
> 
>  
> 
> ONWARDS to the chapter then

Levi stared at the unopened pregnancy test with disdain.

Hanji had only just left, departing with a simple, “Four days, Levi.” _Four days my arse._

Levi reached for a cigarette. Stuck it between her lips and lit the thing with a novelty lighter she got when she was fourteen. She took the cigarette between her fingers and inhaled, exhaled as she pulled it out. She threw the lighter down on the counter next to the pregnancy test, watching it bounce a couple of times.

She sighed out smoke, straightened up and padded over to the mug cabinet, flicking on the kettle on the way. The house was soon filled with the sounds of the water bubbling and boiling inside the electric kettle, shaking almost uncontrollably, for some reason. She stuck the cigarette between her teeth as she grabbed her mug and gave it a quick rinse, grabbing a couple of teabags from this weird little tin they kept them all in next to the still boiling kettle.

Levi grabbed a baby spoon from the cutlery drawer and put in the appropriate amount of sugar she wanted, tapping off the spoonfuls into the little jar they had to keep all the raw sugar they used in their hot drinks. That was what both Levi and her mother had in common; they both liked organisation. It kept them both grounded.

She yawned, watching the steam float up into the cabinet above the kettle, fogging up the window. She heard keys jingle near the front door. She put the test back in the bag, her movements slow, but apparently fast enough to beat whoever was coming in the door. She shoved the bag aside, folded her arms, and waited. The kettle dinged just as the door opened.

Her Mum walked in the door. Kicked it shut behind her. Turned around and startled at Levi staring at her.

“Jesus, Levi,” she said, holding a hand to her chest. “Y’scared the shit out of me.”

Levi yawned and shrugged. “Sorry.” She got out another mug. “You want something?”

Her Mum came and sat down at the kitchen counter. “Yeah, just a cup of tea, please, love.”

Levi made the cup of tea. They both yawned.

Levi sipped her own cup of tea. Celia followed. Nails clicked against the counter, the sound resonating throughout the entirety of their surprisingly large kitchen. Celia gestured towards the bag shoved aside. “What’s in the bag?” she asked, pointing lazily.

Levi grabbed the back and pulled it towards her slowly. “Nothing. Just pain killers.”

Her Mum looked at her with that squinty eye look. Levi nervously sipped her tea. Sure, she was a generally good liar, but this was her _mother._ She came out of this woman’s _vagina._ She was this woman’s _mistake._

_Just like I might have._

Levi put her hand over her mouth and tried to keep in a gasp. She turned around, begging her mother didn’t see and thus suspect that something was up.

She did.

“… Those aren’t just painkillers, are they?” Celia said, her voice curious, but also quite scared. Nervous.

“They’re…” _C’mon, think._ “Period pain tablets…?” _Oh yeah, real smooth. Like she’ll believe that._

Her Mum, as anticipated, did not look impressed. She moved her tongue around in her cheeks, strands of hair falling out of her ponytail. She pointed to the bag.

“Priceline bags are see through, sweetie.”

Levi mentally cursed herself. She turned around and put on her straight face like her life depended on it because trust her, it did.

“Why d’you have a pregnancy test, Levi.” _Shit, it’s not a question._

“Well…” _Think, stupid._ “Uh…” Levi pursed her lips and thought, channelling the side of her that she really shouldn’t channel. Her eyes narrowed and she stared at her mother. “You’ve been having a lot of sex lately. Figured you might need it, just in case you spawned me a sibling.” She grabbed the bag and guiltily rushed off at her mother’s undeniably offended face. She ran before she could get yelled at.

“Levi!” Her mother called, but her bedroom door was already shutting behind her.

Levi really wasn’t sure how she was going to keep this up.

* * *

When Levi saw Hanji the next day, neither of them spoke.

Well, _verbally._

“Why the fuck do you two keep looking at each other like that.” Jean commented, his face twisted into one of almost-disgust but it was more of a… ‘what the fuck are you doing that’s really weird and I don’t like it’ face.

“No reason.” Hanji said a little too quickly. Jean looked between them, his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. Levi looked at Hanji. _Nice. Now he knows something’s up._

Hanji held a hand to her heart and faked offense. “Levi! How could you say that!” She clicked her tongue. “And here I thought you were my friend.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Levi said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms. “Don’t get your damn knickers in a knot.”

Hanji huffed. Folded her own arms. “Fine, but I want the friendship bracelet I made you in grade four back, you meaner.” She said, sticking out her chin enough that it was obvious to everyone that it was a fake argument.

Everyone except Jean, apparently.

“Fine, you can have it.” Levi said, ripping off the bracelet that she always wore and throwing it at Hanji. It hit her in the boob and bounced off. Hanji made sure to grab it before it broke.

“Fine!” She yelled, clutching the bracelet convincingly tight.

“Fine!” Levi yelled back.

Their lips quivered with laughter that threatened to break through. They both turned to Jean. Analysed his face. Found it more difficult to not laugh.

“Hey guys,” Eren said, walking up behind them. He looked up from his phone. “Woah, Jean, dude, what is up with your face?”

Jean’s face went from scared shitless to utterly unimpressed. Levi gasped.

“I want custody of Eren!” she said, pointing at Hanji, who’d turned around at the gasp. Hanji looked disappointed. And offended.

“Oh, come on, Levi,” Hanji whined, dropping down to her knees. “I called dibs, like, five years ago!” Her hands clapped together in a prayer gesture. “You can’t do that!” She yelled, crawling up to Levi and grabbing her legs. She faked tears and held on tighter when Levi tried to step back. “Please!”

“Hanji, get off, you’re gonna make me fall, dammit!” Levi shrieked, trying to wriggle herself out. Hanji only held on tighter the more Levi struggled. Levi’s arms started flapping, her body twisting, and Hanji’s yells only got louder, her grip getting tighter and tighter until they were both falling onto the concrete.

Heads turned at the screams and the laughter emanating from their little gathering. Levi cupped her hands behind her head, laughing her arse off, and Hanji wasn’t much better, finally letting go of Levi’s legs and rolling over clutching her nose, blood slipping between her fingers. She coughed and gurgled. Eren and Jean looked at each other and shrugged.

“You two, I swear to God.” Jean sighed, going to pick a possibly concussed Levi. She swayed and wobbled, but could stand none the less.

Hanji groaned through the laughter. “Dude, Levi, I think you like… broke my nose… with your knee…”

Levi giggled. “Probably because your nose is so big it’s such an easy target.”

Hanji pouted. “Iss not _that_ big…”

Eren and Jean exchanged a glance and a sigh. And a thought.

_These guys are_ such _a handful._

* * *

 

The next time either Hanji or Levi were seen, it was _not_ a situation either of them wanted to be in.

“Eren!” Hanji yelled, running up to him at full speed. Eren turned and took a step back, his eyes widening, his expression confused.

Hanji practically fell into his arms.

“Hanji, what the fuck?!” Eren yelled, straightening both of them up. He gave her a quick little scan. She bent over and tried not to throw up.

“Hanji, take a deep breath.” He instructed; she followed obediently, yet with a fair amount of difficulty.

“Levi-“ Another breath. “She- She got… into… a fight.” And up came Hanji’s lunch.

Eren stepped back with a look of disgust. But his face changed when he actually took in what Hanji had said. He grabbed her shoulders and straightened her up again. “Hanji, where is the fight exactly?” He asked, his eyes narrowed and an eyebrow raised.

She pointed weakly in the general direction of the fight. Eren quickly lead her to a bench so that she could catch her breath, already headed in the direction of the fight.

When he got there, though, _that_ was when the party started.

There Levi was, standing there stoically with her jaw clenched, some dickhead screaming in her face. Eren jogged up to Connie and Sasha, who were spectating, sharing a bag of fish and chips between them. There was at least seven dollars being shared between them, so Eren stood behind them, reached his hand in, and started sharing with them.

Eren leaned in. “What the fuck is going on?”

Sasha glanced at him. “Same as every single scene in a teen movie; Levi just bumped into him, he told her to watch it-“

“’Or else.’” Connie mocked. They both glanced at him.

Sasha shook her head. “Anyway, Levi started mouthing off to him, y’know, as she does, and now here we are.” She gestured to the scene before them, shoving another chip in her mouth.

Eren followed. “Where did you guys even get these?”

“Chang’s.” They both said.

“Oh, sweet, Chang makes the best Fish and Chips.” Eren reached in and snagged a potato cake. “And potato cakes.”

They all went back to watching the fight, quietly distributing the chips between the three of them. They let out a couple of ‘ooh’s and other positive affirmations with each little insult or comeback that spewed from the fighters. But, they could tell that Levi was getting sick of it, so they watched her do the first thing that apparently came to her mind.

Sighed, groaned, unfolded her arms, pulled her leg back, and slammed her foot into his stupid shin like an angry five year old on a villain in a movie.

The guy collapsed, stunned. She brought her knee up and grabbed his head from the back, slamming his face down into the aforementioned knee. She took a step back and watched him collapse face first into the concrete, which wasn’t a good position for her, so she kicked him onto his back, and calmly straddled his stomach when he was there. She reeled her hand back, clenched into a fist, and slammed her knuckles into his nose a couple of times. She put her free hand over her fist and pulled her arm back to reveal her elbow. She slammed it into his chest, twice again into his nose, and once more in his eye.

But the guy wasn’t done yet.

Before she could do anything else harming, he swung a fist, and his knuckles knocked her head to the side. He did the same to the other side, and the ring she hadn’t noticed on his hand cut open the first layer of her skin, just under her left eye on the cheek bone. She could feel the blood begin to trickle down her cheek, but she thought nothing of it.

Instead, Levi simply moved her jaw away, cracking it in the process, and turned to look at the guy beneath her.

She intertwined her fingers and hands together and raised the first above her head. The male’s face turned from smug to shit-scared in exactly point four seconds. He didn’t have any time to react before the side of the mega fist slammed into his forehead, her forearms finishing the blow off by connecting with his nose.

And then she just calmly stood up, stepped over the guy, brought her leg back and kicked the guy in the stomach. He grunted and groaned in pain, but she was so ridiculously sick of the situation she couldn’t even fathom it.

Levi turned and pushed through the crowd, headed in the direction of the girls’ toilets. Eren, Connie, and Sasha all lagged behind.

After all, there was a _lot_ of blood on her hands.

* * *

 

Her mother wasn’t exactly the happiest when Levi came home with bloodstained hands and clothes.

After the pathetic little fight that had gone under in the canteen-slash-cafeteria-slash-technically-a-courtyard area, Levi, along with Sasha – it was called the girls’ toilets for a reason – tried to wash off the blood from her knuckles, her knees and her elbow as a way to stop infection and effectively clean it out.

However, it was when they were on their way to the sickbay that they were in trouble.

When they actually arrived, the first thing they saw was three teachers trying to comfort and patch up the guy she’d beat up, who turned out to be a year ten who’d only recently arrived at the school. The four people already occupying the sickbay turned and shot Sasha and her glare, but one of them came to her aid, anyway.

The kid glared at her the entire time she was being taken care of.

But she had it under control.

Instead of asking the guy to stop, Levi, in her own stupid little way, glared back at him with a challenging look, one eyebrow raised and a smirk tugging at one corner of her lips. The guy stared at her a little longer, gulped, then looked away. Levi turned back to watching her knuckles and elbow be wrapped in gauze. She completely ignored the three other women all huddled around the beaten one.

The nurse tending to her sighed. “Third time, Levi,” she said, taping down the first bandage. “Third time all year. That brings us to a total of…” the nurse took the time to pause and count off on her fingers. Levi simply watched with that falsely pleasant face of hers.

“Fifteen times since year eight.”

Okay, that made Levi look down in shame.

Sasha gaped at her from her position in the doorway. Her arms were folded across her chest, leaning against the doorframe, her legs crossed lazily at the ankles. She moved a hand to cover her mouth. Levi shot her a glare.

“ _Fifteen times?_ Holy shit, Levi,” Sasha said. She shut her mouth when the three other adults shot her a dirty look. She took a step forward. “Okay, I expected at least once or twice from you, but…” she sucked in through her teeth. “Fifteen? C’mon.”

Levi shot her another sharp glare. Sasha merely held her hands up in silent surrender and backed off.

A fair amount of bandages and small talk later, and here Levi was, smack bang in the middle of a lecture.

“Levi, this is the _third time!”_ Her mother screamed in her face, looking as though she wanted to pull out her own hair. “The _third! Fucking! Time!”_

“Please, Mother, would you say it one more time?” Levi began sarcastically. She kept up a pleasant face to get her point across to the woman before her.

Her point being… well, she didn’t know that herself. But she was _definitely_ going to get that point across.

Her mother’s eyes narrowed, and the woman’s jaw clenched dangerously. Levi swallowed and tried to stare her mother down. But this was her mother; she was the one who gave Levi most of her traits. How was she meant to go up against this woman?

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t what she meant, but who can blame her? Her mother was probably contemplating her _murder_ right now! She didn’t have time to consider the consequences of her thoughts!

… Or, frankly, actions.

Levi already knew she wasn’t going to win it. So, in a state of complete and utter panic, she bolted to her room, similar to yesterday when her mother found out Hanji’d bought her a damn-

She felt sick at the thought.

The sound of her door slamming resonated throughout the entire house, bouncing off the walls and into Celia’s ears. Levi’s heart pounded.

_God_ damn, _is that woman terrifying._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i was gonna put something here but i cant remember and im sorry ok
> 
> OH RIGHT
> 
> next chapter all will be revealed this was just a lil more on levi's other relationships and i p much just wanted more springles (who doesnt at this stage) so yeah its kinda just a massive mess right now
> 
>  
> 
> expect a LOT (LIKE SO MUCH HOLY JESUS) of angst coming up in later chapters


	9. panic attacks and mermaid tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "shit ass motherfucking ballsack on a fucking dick" - levi's thoughts the entire chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone asks i am absolutely NOT in german class rn  
> absolutely not  
> totally not in german
> 
> nah, but in all seriousness, sorry for being so late. i dont really have an excuse, other than school started back up and i had this soiree for my saxophone and UGH so much to do and i hate it tbh
> 
> but alas, i am here, and i have brought with me a special present that goes out to my best friends lo and mia, and my partner sarah, who knew about this before any of you did and thought i was quite literally the devil's spawn
> 
> (i think, anyway)
> 
> but this also goes out to all of you
> 
> now, ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between, behold, the chapter that answers all of your questions
> 
> do try to enjoy.

_One more day. One more day and they would find out._

Levi nervously cracked her knuckles, a habit she’d had ever since Eren could remember. He didn’t really think much of it at that exact moment, but it wasn’t until she started flicking her nose with her thumb that he became a little bit suspicious.

He set his mug down on the coffee table and turned to where she sat in the beat up old armchair in his living room. They were watching some random episode of _Futurama_ from one of the box sets he’d acquired over his fourteenth year of life, a bag of salt and vinegar chips and a bottle of Coke being shared between them. Levi glanced at him, having felt his stare on her cheek. She snorted. “What?” she said, popping a chip in her mouth and looking continuously from the TV and him. Eren curled up into a position similar to hers, knees pulled up near his chest, placing his hands in his lap. He sniffed.

“Are you okay?” He questioned, head tilting to the side a little. “You keep cracking your knuckles. And flicking your nose.”

Levi gave him a look. “I went to the doctor’s the other day.” She answered, taking a sip from her own mug of Coke. “Y’know, ‘cause I threw up. I’m just worried the results might be something more serious.” She shrugged. “No biggie, just anxious.”

They left it at that.

After a few beats of silence between them, the only real sounds being that of the TV or of food and drink being consumed, Levi decided to speak up.

“So Jean has a crush.”

Eren almost spat out his Coke. Levi curled her lips in to try and keep in the giggles. Eren wasn’t so lucky once he finally swallowed his drink. He burst out laughing, causing Levi to let out the giggles, causing Eren’s dad, Grisha, to tell them both to shut up.

Levi stuck out her tongue in the general direction of Grisha.

She looked back at Eren, who was holding his stomach and howling with laughter. She reached over the arm of the chair and smacked him on the foot, his leg outstretched as he balanced dangerously on the edge of the couch. “Stop it, I’m serious!” She said through both of their laughters.

_That_ made Eren shut up. Well, not _entirely,_ but the point is he quietened down a little bit. “Okay, okay,” he said, still clutching his stomach, although he at least straightened himself up. “T-Tell me more.” He managed through chuckles.

“It’s on that really freckly one in Jean and my German class. I think you have him for Maths.”

Eren’s face dropped. “You mean…”

Levi smirked. “Yep. Freckled Jesus.”

And in that moment, Levi could have sworn Eren assumed an almost dreamy expression his eyes.

She merely left him be.

* * *

 

“Why the fuck are you two watching _Barbie in a Mermaid Tale?”_

Eren and Levi craned their heads to see who spoke. It was Mikasa, who had recovered yesterday from her illness. She stood in the doorway, a novelty mug held in her hand, clad in a simple dark grey singlet and funny pajama shorts printed with little monkey heads on them.

Levi stared at her, her mouth dropped open, and slowly shook her head. “I have no fucking idea.”

Eren looked between them, eyebrows furrowed. He looked… offended, to say the least. “Hey, it’s a good movie.”

They both stared at _him._ They shrugged.

Mikasa moved around the couch and sat down, nearly sitting on Eren’s legs. He quickly pulled his legs up toward himself. Mikasa placed her own legs on the coffee table, cradling her mug of whatever it is she had in her lap, arm resting on the… well, armrest of the couch. Levi turned back to the screen, enjoying the movie of her cousin’s childhood a little more than she’d ever admit.

She hadn’t watched it since her cousin turned 10 earlier in the year, and she always _had_ enjoyed it, but like hell she was going to let any of her friends know.

She took a sip of her drink, cracking her knuckles as she set the mug down. Mikasa glanced at her. Levi glanced back. Mikasa looked away, so Levi looked away. Cracked her neck and the process repeated.

“Jesus, Levi, what kind of news are you waiting for?” Eren said, his turquoise eyes burning into the side of her face as Levi, ironically enough, cracked her knuckles again. She turned her head and looked a little insulted at the question, despite it’s _almost_ innocent intentions.

“Hey, for all I know, I could be dying.” She snarled, jabbing a finger at him. Mikasa looked between them.

“What happened?” she asked, sounding vaguely afraid of whatever answer she may get. Levi’s eyes pin to her.

“I went to the doctor’s the other day because I threw up at school. It was pretty bad, so,” she shrugs. “I’m just waiting for news on what it is.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds pretty bad.”

“I mean, it _was,_ but I’m not dead yet.”

“But you might be by Christmas, depending on the news.”

“Shut up.”

Mikasa laughs. Eren shushes them. Levi grumbles.

They all turned back to the screen and watched the rest of the movie, Levi’s fear of the news creeping into all of them.

Because for all Eren and Mikasa knew, Levi _could_ be dying.

And it was pretty fucking scary.

* * *

 

So there they were, four days later, standing outside of Levi’s bathroom with a peed on pregnancy test between them.

“I _sincerely_ hope it’s negative.” Levi said, her hands shaking. Hanji didn’t say anything; just watched.

Levi felt sick. She shoved the test in Hanji’s hands, who fumbled for it, trying not to drop it. “I can’t- I can’t look at it.” She stammered, wiping her sweaty palms on her shirt. “Y-You tell me what it- what it is.”

Hanji looked at her with pity in her eyes. Dipped her head slightly and looked back down at the stick of doom and potential destruction.

Levi folded her arms and hugged herself close. Waited. Listened.

A sharp intake of breath. Levi looked up at Hanji, who’s hand was cupped around her mouth. Hanji glanced up at Levi. Levi glanced down at the stick, back up at Hanji. Repeated the process a couple of panicky times.

“What? What does it say?” Levi asked, standing up a little straighter. Hanji doesn’t respond. So Levi panics.

“Hanji.” She says, her voice shaking. She’s scared, she knows she is, and this isn’t what she wants at all. Hanji looks up from the test in her hands, and her eyes glass over with tears just waiting to spill over.

And then something in Levi dies a little.

Levi herself cups a hand over her mouth. “No…” she says, voice muffled. She rips it away and clenches her hands into fists, both arms falling to her sides. “No!” She screams. She’s desperate, so damn _desperate._ She’s praying, praying it’s not what she thinks it is.

“Levi…” _Don’t say it._ “I… I’m…” _Don’t fucking say it, Hanji._ “I’m sorry, Levi, but…”

Levi snapped entirely.

Her knees shook uncontrollably. Her bottom lip quivered. Her eyes glistened. Her jaw clenched. She turned, her hand still all balled up into a fist, and she punched a hole right through the plaster in the wall.

Hanji just stared. Watched.

Levi inhaled deeply through the nose, exhaled just as deeply from the mouth. “Hanji.” She said, voice raspy and clogged up from the tears that still threatened her pride. She swallowed. “Tell me it isn’t real.”

Hanji didn’t move.

“Please, Hanji.”

She couldn’t move.

“Please.”

She couldn’t.

_“Please.”_

She _couldn’t._

_“Please,_ Hanji, just _tell me_ it isn’t _real.”_

She _wouldn’t._

Hanji shook her head; it was a small movement, and she hoped Levi didn’t see it, but she knew better. She knew how good Levi’s eyesight was the second she broke her mother’s China vase and Levi’s back was facing her.

She knew. And now Levi did too.

Hanji simply stood by and watched Levi break down. First, her face fell, contorting into one of pure shock and fear of the unknown. Then her knees buckled, and she collapsed, her fist still in the wall. Hanji watched as Levi slammed her face into the wall and just cry and cry her poor little heart out.

And she couldn’t do anything about it.

Hanji turned and moved into the kitchen, only one goal on her mind.

Call Celia.

And pray for the best.

Because shit, they needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i grinned the entire time you all read that. just saying.
> 
> the next chapter is going to be filled with even more of this bullshit, so beware
> 
> or, yknow, enjoy, whatever floats your little devil boats
> 
> (btw, feel free to throw rotten tomatoes at me i totally deserve it)


	10. provocative tension and an everlasting wombats soundtrack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit hits everyone straight in the feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry
> 
> ok lemme explain i didnt actually have a laptop for ages bc it fucked itself over and was like  
> possessed or some shit
> 
> so i took that shit in to be reimaged straight away
> 
> however i also got my keyboard replaced so
> 
> and like.... writers block and shit
> 
> and the harry potter books happened in my life
> 
> yeah
> 
>  
> 
> sorry

There was a pounding in her eyelids when she woke up.

Her throat was as raw as a chicken neck and as dry as an overcooked roast chicken itself. She could feel another series of quick and flittery bangs somewhere in her head, a sound bouncing around her ears. Her eyes were sore and red and puffy, and her lungs burned. Her biceps stung as she pushed herself up onto her knees, some of her hair sticking to her cheek. Her hands were purple with bruises, stained with blood, her knuckles clotted with scabs.

And the first words that popped into Levi’s raging head were _holy shit._

“Levi, open up, dammnit!” Hanji’s voice yelled from behind the wooden door. There was a couple of low barks to accompany the yells and the knocks and all of it, including the memories of news she never, _ever, **ever,**_ wanted to hear and the pain flowing through her body from head to toe, it was all just far too overwhelming.

“Fuck off, Hanji.” She cried back, covering her face in her hands and running her fingernails across her hairline, clawing at her forehead. She took in a deep breath from between her fingers, in through her nose. She breathed it back out as she dragged the rest of her hand down her tired, tired face.

There was some mutters from behind her bedroom door, and then slow, smaller knocks.

“Levi?” Her mother called, knocking three times again. “Levi, c’mon, we need to talk about this.” Four knocks. “Levi,” her mother sighed. “Don’t make me get the axe out.”

Levi groaned unnecessarily loudly, swinging her legs over the side of her unmade bed. She padded over to the obnoxiously big door, her fingers twisting the lock, her hand twisting the knob, and it suddenly got a whole lot cooler in the room.

Hanji and Celia both stared at her with their jaws to the damn floor.

“Shit.” Hanji mumbled, eyes fixated on Levi’s messed up hand. Celia’s eyes, however, were fixated on just… _her._

“… You look like…” Celia tried, making various faces and hand gestures.

“Shit?” Hanji suggested.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Levi shut the door on both of them, turned around, and headed straight back to bed face first into the mass of pillows she somehow managed to gather. She shifted her knees up to her chest, curled up as though protecting herself.

The door creaked open a little, and Hanji’s admirable brown eyes peaked through the crack. She quickly slipped in and closed the door behind her, leaving Celia to wait in the hall, pacing. The bed dipped under Hanji’s added weight as she climbed into the mass of assorted pillows, too, her arms wrapping around Levi’s waist as much as they could and coaxing her to roll over and face her friend.

Levi looked too tired to cry, and Hanji’s heart cried for her.

Hanji found the silence too comfortable for her liking, so she shuffled to get her phone into the speakers on the bedside table behind her, putting on the one – and only – band that she knew Levi could listen to when she got like this; _The Wombats._ She didn’t know what song, she didn’t know what album, Hanji just hit shuffle and hoped for the best.

But apparently it was the right one, because the second the song started playing, Levi curled in closer to her.

And Hanji just held her, because that was what she needed.

* * *

 

“Look, Levi, you’re going to have to come out eventually.”

Her mother’s voice pounded in her ears, echoing annoyingly. A plate of untouched food sat on the bedside table next to her. She stared at it loathingly.

It’d been a grand total of three days since she last came out of her room. The shock of Hanji’s announcement still weighed heavily on her. What was she going to do? She couldn’t take care of a baby. That was what adults did. She wasn’t an adult.

Well, mentally she wasn’t.

Hanji had left shortly after six-hour-long nap, her own father figure having called her incessantly until she answered. If Levi tried hard enough, she could remember rather vividly the pure anger screeching from Hanji’s phone. She sighed and curled further into a ball.

The doorbell to her house rang. She rolled over, her nose almost touching the cool brick wall next to her, and strained her ears to listen. She heard her mother, Celia, getting up from the couch in the living room, her oddly heavy footsteps resounding through the house. The footsteps paused, and the front door opened.

“Oh, hi, Eren,” she heard her mother say pleasantly. Levi only curled further yet into a ball. “What brings you here this fine day?”

Levi rolled her eyes at the wall. She knew why he was there.

Eren must’ve cleared his throat; there was a pause in conversation. “Well, Mrs. Ackerman,” he began, his tone barely masking his concern. “I hadn’t heard from Levi in a while, so I figured I’d stop by and see what the problem was.”

Celia made an ‘aww’ sound. “That’s so sweet! Levi’s in her room, if you wanna go down and see her.” She heard Eren’s just-as-heavy footsteps begin over the threshold of the front door, but the stopped suddenly. Levi waited.

Her mother’s tone of voice turned deadly serious. “I must warn you, though, she hasn’t been very friendly over the time she’s been absent. Be careful.”

And with that, the footsteps grew ever closer. Levi continued to stare at the wall, anticipation flooding her. Closer and closer, louder and louder, and soon she could see a shadow form under her door out of the corner of her eye. It was just before noon on a Monday morning, and Levi was vaguely aware that Eren was skipping school; she wasn’t entirely sure how many days had passed since the Day of Reckoning – otherwise known as the day her and Eren did the Do. It’d all passed in a disgustingly clear haze which, now that she thought about it, didn’t make much sense.

But nothing did these days, so she didn’t dwell.

There was a soft little knock on her bedroom door, tentative, hesitant. Levi didn’t answer; she didn’t feel a need to. Eren knew she was in there, and she didn’t really feel like getting up. The doorknob rattled as he tried to open the door. “Levi?” he called, voice shaking slightly. She heard him crack his knuckles loudly.

Another knock; another call.

“Levi, please, I know you’re in there.” Eren pleaded, sounding more desperate. “Please, just come out and talk to me.”

Levi took in a breath through her nose. She could feel her eyes beginning to prickle and glisten with tears, her throat closing up uncomfortably, her nose beginning to run with the oncoming onslaught. She sniffed and ran the back of her hand under her nose, then grimaced at what she’d just done. But another set of frantic knocks interrupted that train of thought, so she forced herself to sit up, push herself off the bed, and padded to the door, folding her arms against her stomach once more.

She reached out a hand cautiously and ripped open the door with no more than a click of the lock unlocking.

Eren stepped back, turquoise eyes wide, shimmering. But his eyebrows furrowed, and Levi found him staring into her own undoubtedly puffy eyes. She glared at him. His expression quickly became offended.

Levi rolled her eyes. “Fuck, you really do wear your heart on your sleeve, y’know.” She leant against the doorframe casually, trying to divert the topic from emotions as soon as possible. “What do you want, Eren?” she sighed; her eyes blinked tiredly, slowly, owlishly. Eren’s eyebrows furrowed.

Levi tried to sniff her feelings back into her face as inconspicuously as possible.

Eren cleared his throat quietly, something he did when he wanted to make a usually unnecessary comment. Levi’s eyes narrowed and she clenched her jaw a tad. “I think you know why I’m here, Lee.” He said, a touch awkwardly; he seemed like he didn’t want to be there as a whole, but from the look in his eyes, Armin had chewed his ear off for not getting involved soon enough.

Levi resisted a smirk at the thought.

“You’re right,” she said, turning her head to the side lazily. “I do know why you’re here. I just don’t want to discuss it right now.” And she stepped back into her room, fully intending on closing the door and locking it in her best friend’s face.

“But-“

“Eren, seriously, just drop it.” Her glare was as sharp as a knife, cutting into his face. Her jaw tightened a little more. “Now, if you’ll _excuse me,_ I have a total of eight movies to watch and seven books to read, so please-“ she indicated to the foot Eren had tried to sneak into the premise of her bedroom, positioned in a way that would’ve stopped her from closing the door entirely, “- get your goddamn foot out of my doorway and kindly fuck right off back to whatever you were doing before Armin told you to come here.”

And with that, she _did,_ in fact, close the door both on Eren’s foot and face, a certain sickness bubbling from her lower abdomen and bringing tears to her eyes for what felt like the umpteenth time in a span of five minutes.

She _really_ wasn’t ready for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's that i guess
> 
> sorry   
> its not a good excuse for my absence is it
> 
>  
> 
> sigh
> 
> let us pray with all our might that the next chapter wont take as long


	11. the entire harry potter series and motherfucking friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> armin is inserted more into the pictures.  
> like, a lot more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehhh its kinda short but i honestly am just so tired that i didn't know what to do next but i wrote some more and i was like "holy shit that's actually a pretty good lil chapter" so i'm showing you what i have.
> 
> this was kinda pulled out of my ass, kinda also not because i get really pissed when fic writers in this ship and fandom stick to the idea that eren and levi both have their own little friend groups and that's just no its not a thing they would eventually become all mutual friends and it pisses me off that people think otherwise
> 
> fuck you guys who do that
> 
> whatever
> 
> onwards i guess

“I’m telling you, Arm, she only ever indulges in the _Harry Potter_ series when she’s at the lowest of lows.”

Armin rolled his eyes and raised his marginally thick eyebrows. They’d been having the conversation since Eren had quite literally burst into his house – completely uninvited, mind you – after visiting the ever absent Levi.

“Okay,” Armin said slowly, fearful he might provoke another repeated rant from the boy before him, “but how do you know it was the _Harry Potter_ series?”

Eren looked at him incredulously. “Seven books, eight movies.”

“… Fair enough.”

“Okay, seriously, Armin, you talk to Hanji,” Eren continued; Armin sensed another rant coming. “Do _you_ know what’s going on with Levi?” Eren pointed a finger at him, having rolled over onto his side on the bed. Armin span around lazily in his stupendously comfortable desk chair.

“I do.” He said as casually as he could; Eren sat up quickly, though, and Armin knew he was in trouble. _“But,”_  Armin enunciated carefully, holding his hands up in almost surrender to Eren’s oncoming rage. “It’s not my job to tell you.” He shrugged, watching his friend mull over the last exclamation. “Look, it’s pretty big, so I don’t doubt you’ll hear it eventually. But not right now.”

Eren sulked back into the bed.

“Now,” Armin said, standing up from his still-rotating desk chair. The seat hit him in the back of the thigh. “I’m going to go watch and read the _Harry Potter_ with one of my best friends, so you can either eat dinner with Grampy or get out.”

Eren chose the latter, trailing behind him in a moping fashion.

Armin smiled, stepping over the threshold of his front door and basking in the warmth of the sun as it splashed all parts of his bare skin. He walked towards the disgustingly suburban white picket fence surrounding his house, Eren at his heels, and shoved open the gate with a little more force than originally intended.

And then he marched across the road, through a small wire-y gate that lead to Levi’s house, up to the grand front door, and rapped his knuckles against the tinted glass.

And it hit him that he was about to face a probably _very_ pissed off Levi.

Oh, boy.

* * *

 

A knock on the door forced her eyes away from the shitty little TV in the corner of her room.

It was a brief but overly loud knock, one that hadn’t come after footsteps – it probably did, but the TV was up too high, so she probably couldn’t hear it – however, what did follow after the knock was Armin.

Levi herself was so startled by the sudden appearance of a close friend of both Eren and her that she paused her movie. She was only about halfway through the second _Harry Potter_ movie when he had so rudely barged in, so Levi, remembering that Armin was indeed _not_ the type of person to leave when asked, wordlessly moved over to make room for him.

The bed dipped as Armin crawled in. His clothing was rather bogan-esque, per se, as he quite happily donned an old t-shirt that looked like something you would get from an older relative, as well as a pair of shorts that looked way too short – and, oddly enough, far too feminine.

“Y’know, you confuse me.” Levi mumbled, adjusting her entire bed so that it was comfortable for them both. Armin glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s like,” she said, guessing that she could continue, “Sometimes you dress really feminine, and you’re biologically female, but you go by a male name and male pronouns?” She shrugged. “Sorry if it’s personal, it just confuses me.”

Armin thought about it. He shrugged.

“Don’t really know myself, actually.” He paused. “Maybe I still have a feminine side because my Mum brought me up around pretty dresses and stuff? Like, she didn’t _force me_ to wear them, exactly, but it was like… she let me make a choice when it came to my interests, she didn’t try to shove them down my throat, so I guess… maybe I knew it deep down, that I was a guy, but I still enjoyed that sort of stuff, so I guess in a way I’m both?”

He shrugged again and glanced at Levi, who was watching his face intently. The movie played quietly in the background.

“I guess we’ll never know.”

Levi could accept that.

For now.

* * *

 

“Should you really be having that?”

Armin’s gaze was critical, almost scary as it focused itself straight onto the cigarette Levi was bringing up to her mouth. Levi clenched her draw and glared back.

“The fuck do you know?” she said, eyes narrowing. Armin smiled in an annoyingly smug way.

“More than I probably should.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed a little more. Armin’s eyes did the same.

Levi’s voice was dangerously threatening when it came back to her. “You don’t know fucking _anything.”_

Armin held his hands up in surrender. “If you say so.”

Levi turned back to the TV screen, tucking the cigarette back into the packet with a heavy heart of shame. Armin smiled a little, triumph oozing from his chapped lips. He stared at her for a little longer, as though untrusting of her decision to not smoke the cigarette; undoubtedly because of the fact that when Levi didn’t actively smoke like Dewey in that one episode of _Malcolm in the Middle_ (Armin mentally added that to his list of what to watch with Levi next) then she got pretty damn cranky.

Which lead to the inevitability of her becoming **Hal** from that particular episode.

Which meant so much coffee Levi would probably die if she wasn’t already adapted to it.

Armin’s mind drifted back to the unborn child rested in the pits of Levi’s reproductive system as his gaze was pulled back to the TV screen. Thoughts flourished his thoughts, bouncing around obnoxiously like a title screensaver.

Or the bubbles.

He liked the bubbles.

“But I _do_ still love the pipes…”

“Armin, you’re talking to yourself.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“You’re cool. I like the pipes too.”

“Fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what else am i meant to say fucking nothing thats what i am proud of this chapter fuck u all im going to bed forever
> 
> and yes pls read that really long eh as the tina groan becaus ethat is what it is the tina groan
> 
>  
> 
> fuck all of u
> 
> especially my friend mia
> 
> fuck mia
> 
> ily all
> 
> bye for now, but not forever


	12. sentimental sequences and a giant bowl of fruit loops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> celia and levi have an overly extended mother-daughter moment over a cup of tea, coffee, and a bowl of fruit loops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i am so sorry for both the happenings in this chapter and how long it took me to write 2,643 words in the form of this piece of shit.
> 
> but shit happened and june was foggy and i started watching misfits (which as im typing this would make GREAT au face it u were thinking it) and i got the sims 4 and ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but whatever, it's out now!
> 
> more slightly not platonic levihan and finally, finally, finally we get to see celia bein' a cool mum.
> 
> but uhhh yeah
> 
> enjoy, i guess

It was four-forty seven in the morning when she woke up again.

After Armin had left, Levi had, quite obviously, decided to take a nap, that apparently had turned into a sleep, and now it was the morning and TV in the corner of her room was about halfway through replaying the sixth _Harry Potter_ movie for quite possibly the thirtieth time.

The sheets felt soft and a mixture of cold and warm – luke warm, if that wasn’t exclusively applicable to water, but what did she know? Science was Hanji’s thing, after all – as she ran her hands over the space next to her. She touched various things; her second pillow, the sheets, what felt like a bottle of water and was hopefully _not_ a dildo (upon squeezing it, she found that her initial guess was correct, and that it was just a bottle of water), more sheets, and at last her phone.

She sat up, phone in hand, and was temporarily blinded as she pressed the home button. The screen was bright, tinted a lovely, albeit blurred, green from the picture of an unbelievably photogenic tree behind the several notifications that showed at least nine missed calls and several texts. There were other notifications – some from _Snapchat_ , others from _Messenger_ , because that was all any of them used _Facebook_ for – but they definitely stood out the most. Most were from Hanji, a few were from Eren, and the rest were from the rest of her friends. Some were concerned messages to her personally, but others were quite clearly to the group chat; messages for good cupcake recipes, notes from a class she wasn’t in, notes from a class she _was_ in – the list of miscellaneous messages was endless.

She ran a hand through her unwashed hair, and was suddenly aware of how filthy she was. She hadn’t showered in close to five days, and with one realisation came an overwhelming feeling of disgust – both at the filth on her body, and at her herself. Levi’d never, **ever** allowed herself to become so grimy, and even when she _did_ , it was an incredibly rare occurrence. So for her to be so disgusting? It was, frankly, un _fathomable._ The urge to shower was screaming at her, louder than her need to eat, and considering the last thing she’d eaten was at around ten a.m the morning before, that was saying something.

The only thing that really proved her need for food was the fairly loud growl that emitted from her stomach at the thought of eating.

But first, she needed a shower.

And she needed it five days ago.

* * *

 

Levi wasn’t entirely sure what day it was, but judging by the tinkling alarm that sounded from her phone when she’d finally finished her close-to-two-hour shower, she’d have to guess that it was a Monday.

The hunger growing in her stomach had become slightly unbearable when she’d finished wrapping a towel around her body in that dress-like way women did, so instead of actually getting dressed, she decided to go have that bowl of Fruit Loops she’d been craving for a while. Her eyes drifted to the large clock above the microwave as she padded into the kitchen; it was just coming up to six a.m, so she’d been in the shower for a good hour and a bit. She silently apologised to her mother for the cost of the water bill after that one.

After successfully locating the Fruit Loops – which for some God awful reason were at the very top of the pantry, causing her to almost lose her towel in the process of physically climbing up the shelves to retrieve the box – and getting herself a bowl, she took a moment to revaluate the shit-storm worthy discoveries that somehow managed to turn her life from mediocre to fucking terrible; first, she was pregnant. That was the real kicker. Then, she realised…

Well, that was it.

She was pregnant.

And now she had to go to school and face the storm head on.

Her eyes widened significantly at that thought. She paused, spoon halfway between the bowl and her mouth, the sound of footsteps coming down the hall just barely registering in her mind. A shadow appeared in her peripherals about a second later, revealing the glory that was her mother, sporting a fairly old and quite short grey night dress that hung nicely from her pear-shaped figure. True birthing hips, her mother had.

Something Levi also had, but just not to such an extent as her mother.

However, something Levi _needed,_ granted she wanted to carry out her apparent pregnancy.

Celia silently walked over to the island bench and sat down in a stool. Levi glanced at her, glanced at the spoon still hovering between her mouth and bowl of cereal, and wordlessly continued eating. She was avoiding the conversation bubbling up her mother’s throat, she knew that, but maybe if she tried hard enough, she could at least _postpone_ it.

Her mother stared at her a little longer, reaching over to flick on the kettle. It boiled, filling the silence and cutting through the tension painfully. She stands from the stool, moving around the bench to make herself a cup of coffee, and, after a glance at Levi’s shaky cereal eating, decided on making her daughter a cup of tea as well. The gesture was partly to calm Levi’s nerve, but also a little bit of stalling, and Celia was silently pumping herself up to begin the conversation as well.

Levi set down the almost empty bowl of cereal, which was now only filled with a little bit of milk and maybe two little cereal pieces, spoon clinking against the side, and yawned. Her eyes avoided her mother’s with the effort of an anaconda – the snake, not the Nicki Minaj song – trying to swallow an entire antelope in one swallow. Which she supposed wasn’t as much as she thought, but the point was, she was trying very, very, _**very**  _hard not to make eye contact with her mother.

Her eyes bounced down to the towel she was wearing. It was pastel pink, a nice but faded colour, and it was fraying at the bottom. She mindlessly picked at the loose little frays, wiping her palms across the rough fabric designed for drying, running shaky fingers through her slightly-over-damp-but-not-quite- _wet_ hair. _I should get it cut,_ she thought absently, _maybe something really short._

“So, what are you gonna do?”

The words cut the silence like a fucking axe, and Levi physically recoiled. Her mother had, quite obviously, been the first to break the tension with the question neither of them knew the answer to, but Levi _had_ to answer, or her mother would get suspicious, so now Levi was caught between a rock and a brick fucking wall.

Actually, fuck what standard hard place the saying originated from; this hard place was as hard as the metaphorical boner straight white boys got when they see a girl’s shoulder in the middle of American school hours and the rock was the equally metaphorical balls of fucking steel girls showed when caught in a sticky situation involving said straight white boys.

What she was trying to imply was that she was being completely fucked in the arse by the silence that followed a simple question.

Metaphorically, of course.

But in that moment everything just described was mere background noise, because there were only two real things actively grasping her attention.

  1.     The most logical answer to her mother’s question was, quite obviously, “I have no fucking idea, but I am so fucking terrified at the prospect of both birth and abortion that I figure you could help me with this genuine shit-storm of a situation.”
  2.     At that exact time of six-eleven in the morning, she was now, officially, completely, absolutely, and in every way possible, a real life Juno MacGuff.



And both of those facts seemed endlessly more petrifying than one would originally think.

Her mother was staring at her with a concerned, yet dangerous look in her eyes. It was expectant, it was troubled, and it was staring right through her. Levi looked down at her mug, her reflection swimming in the drink within it. She sucked in several deep, deep breaths, almost mechanically, as though she only took them prepare herself to give the answer to the question she’d probably taken too long to answer.

Her shoulders shrugged, and her index fingernail scratched the surface of the mug nervously. “I don’t know,” she sighed, running her fingers through her drying hair. She scratched her eyebrow, her lip, anything to avoid completing her answer. Truth be told, Levi really didn’t know anything about her situation; she didn’t know her options, she didn’t know which option was the safest, hell, she didn’t even know if she was mentally – or physically – _prepared_ to have a kid. She didn’t know what she would do at _all;_ would she have an abortion? Would she go through with the pregnancy? If so, what would she do? Keep it? No, her mother would probably end up taking care of it. Give it up for adoption?

She looked up, tucking some loose hair behind her ear, fingers grazing the many piercings she bared on her ears themselves. Her eyes met her mothers, and she was suddenly aware of how scared her mother was; her brow was furrowed, the corners of her lips curled downwards into a slight frown, and it was like every single tiny little wrinkle lining her face was the most prominent thing in the world. Her eyes were glistening with tears of utmost concern, and Levi felt her own eyes tearing up a little, too.

And after a few seconds of staring into her mother’s eyes, she just… broke.

She _tried_ choking down her sobs, she really did try, but it was so difficult that they forced their way out in the most pathetically pained sounding cry one could hear. A sickening feeling was sent to the pits of her stomach, and her entire body began to shake and shudder, her arms growing heavy, her legs barely holding her up. Repetitive mumbles of panic stumbled out of her in a heated rush, blurring together into a barely coherent mess. It was a constant, blubbering mantra of _‘I don’t want a kid,’_  and the only thing that calmed her aching mind and shaking hands was her mother’s arms suddenly wrapped around her.

She basked in the warmth of the pale skin of her mother where it touched her own, in the jet black hair that obstructed half of her face, in the bosom that had nursed her so many years ago. Her tears and snot and all the other gross stuff that came with crying dampened the front of her mother’s summer nightgown, a short little thing – like, _really_ quite short, but that was because it was really old - coloured a faded grey that Levi had always been slightly jealous of. Her sobs dimmed to hiccups, her mother’s hands stroking her hair, rubbing her back, up and down, just like they did when she was younger.

“It’s okay to be a little scared,” Her mother mumbled in her ear. Levi sniffed and hugged her closer. Celia sighed, resting her chin upon Levi’s head. She snorted a sad little laughter. “Y’know, I was scared shitless when I was pregnant with you. I was only your age.”

Levi laughed wetly. “Guess it runs in the family.”

Celia chuckled. “Guess so.”

They didn’t let go of each other until birds started singing their annoying-ass song.

And even then, it was another five minutes before they did.

But that’s what sentimental moments require.

Right?

* * *

 

It took about twenty minutes of literal freaking out before Levi remembered that it was, in fact, Monday, and she did, in fact, have school that day.

Which meant she would, in fact, have to go see all of her friends, and all of her friends would, in fact, ask questions that Levi would, in fact, not feel comfortable answering.

But because they’re a group of assholes, she would, _in fact_ , have to fucking answer.

And that was, **_in fact_** , what sparked the panic in the Ackerman household in the first place.

Celia herself had gotten ready for work the second the pulled away, rushing off to her own bedroom and showering and dressing quickly. Simultaneously, Levi liked to think.

But that was beside the point.

The point was, Levi had to go to school and face all of her friends and teachers and classmates and general peers when she hadn’t in possibly over a week and she was about as prepared for that fucking shit-storm of a day as she was for the conversation she’d had with her mother half an hour ago.

And considering how that turned the fuck out, Levi **_really_** wasn’t fucking prepared.

She rummaged through the various hair and makeup products that took up the bathroom counter – some of them hers, some of them her mother’s – phone wedged between her ear and her shoulder in an uncomfortable tilt of her head. She was trying to get a hold of Hanji who, as one could probably guess, was not an easy riser, nor was she a morning person. She had this quite nasty little habit of staying up all night, going through old books on alchemy and other forgotten sciences, or doing extra credit chemistry homework, and that would then cause her to end up falling asleep on her bed at three in the morning, surrounded by dozens of books and countless pens, pencils, and notebooks.

Thus, not an easy riser.

She finally did pick up on the fifth ring, right before it went to voicemail. “For the last time, I don’t have any fucking money.” Hanji’s groggy voice sounded, speech slurred with mild exhaustion. Levi rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well, neither do I.”

It was strange, to Levi, because in that moment, even through the phone, it seemed as though Hanji’s entire demeanour changed.

“Oh, Levi, hey! What’s up?” She spoke, words clearing slightly.

Levi cursed under her breath, remembering, quite suddenly, why she had initially called Hanji. “Look, dude, you need to come to mine this morning. Wait, hold on-“ She removed the phone from its position between her ear and shoulder, straightening her head as she put Hanji on speaker and set her phone down on the bathroom bench. “Okay, I’m good, I just put you on speaker.” She heard minor rummaging on Hanji’s end. “But seriously, Zo’, I really need you to pick me up. I’m not prepared to go to school on my own, and I’m _definitely_ not prepared to go with Eren.”

She swiped up her pencil liner from its place wedged neatly between her liquid eyeliner and her mascara, pulled her lower lid down, and began lining her waterline, silently anticipating Hanji’s answer. She heard various elongated ‘uhh’ sounds from Hanji’s end, mixed with paper russling, but simply dismissed it as her searching for something probably important. A multiple page English essay, Levi guessed.

“Yeah, sure, I can do that.” Hanji said, and Levi finally let out the breath she was subconsciously holding in an overly relieved sigh. “You’re a legend, Hanj’, honestly.” Hanji laughed on the other end. “Yeah, well, thanks for waking me up.”

“Well, if I didn’t, who else would?”

“Oh, shut up, shithead.”

“Oi, that’s my line.”

They ended the call on a stream of insults, giggles, and twenty-two goodbyes.

And, of course, the ever popular, overly flirtatious conversation of, _‘No, **you** hang up first!’_

But they weren’t complaining.

They knew they both needed the pick me up.

After all, it was gonna be a long, long, long, long, long, long, _long_ arse day.

And the week wasn’t gonna get any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... so that happened
> 
> again, i'm sorry for how long it took me to get out this chapter but what happened in this chapter were so devastatingly crucial to the entire story that i had to put a lil more effort into it, y'know?
> 
> btw i'd also like to apologise for the mess that is the timeline over levi's depressive period. i really don't know what's happening. but, i'm sure i'll get there.
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter and, continuing on from last chapter, goodbye for now, but not forever.
> 
> later fucknuts!


	13. moblit's keys and constant dicks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's not what you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heylo, early update, hyea!!! 
> 
> vaguely dissatisfied with this chapter but i'm taking this one slow and i just needed a 'filler' chapter. i rly need to work on my progress in terms of trying to not fit as many things as possible into one chapter and taking it slow by including the filler chapters/segments n shit
> 
> uhhh idk what else to put
> 
> this one goes out to my partner, sarah, bc they're a cool people and so they can catch up on this literal piece of shit
> 
> enjoy, i guess

Although Levi initially anticipated Hanji to show up with two cups of coffee (and, on the odd occasion, a muffin or two) from a café on the corner of the intersection where their two streets crossed, but she wasn’t expecting her to pull out four of her favourite chocolate bars.

Levi gave Hanji a funny little look. Hanji, in turn, looked down at the chocolate, looked back up at her, and they both raised a simultaneous eyebrow. Hanji shrugged after a moment of mute eye contact. “I figured you probably hadn’t eaten a lot in the last few days, so I got you these.”

Levi didn’t really know what to say, but she figured a simple, “Thanks, man.” would suffice.

Hanji nodded in response, setting the two café cups down on the kitchen counter and reaching into a paper bag tucked under her fingertips. She pulls out half of a chocolate muffin, hands it to Levi, and Levi nods in thanks. Hanji simply nods back and looks at the clock.

“Alright, dude, we gotta go,” She says, and Levi looks at the clock, too. “I kinda wanna get there early, see if I can nap before everyone else comes.” Levi snorts, but dips her head in acknowledgement. She could use a nap. She gestures vaguely to the coffee cups as her eyes fall back onto them. “Which is mine?” She asks. Hanji’s gaze falls on her, and then on the probably forgotten cups, eyebrows scrunching together.

She makes a random point. “That one, I think.”

Levi takes the almighty chosen coffee cup and tips it towards her friend, eyebrows raising and lips tightening in a face of what she hopes is gratitude. Hanji beams, takes the other, recloses the paper bag, and adjusts her backpack on her shoulder. She holds out her coffee-cup-filled arm.

“Shall we?”

Levi takes it with her own unavailable arm, crams her half of the chocolate muffin in her mouth as much as she can – crumbs from the baked good made their way into her cleavage and all over her dress, but considering she was halfway through shoving her shoes on, the most she could do was roll her eyes in an exasperated-slash-defeated kind of way – and slinging her own worse-for-wear backpack over her own sore shoulders. She audibly _oofs_  under the sheer weight of textbooks inside, and Hanji raises an eyebrow.

“Gettin’ old, are we?” She jabs playfully.

Levi, in turn, flips her off.

And Hanji’s cackle fills the entire kitchen with a sense of warmth that the house needed desperately.

It follows them all the way to school in the form of impish insults and soft hip-bumps.

Levi’s fine with that.

* * *

 

“Oh yeah, we have choir tomorrow.”

They’d been walking for about ten minutes when Hanji’s says that. Levi almost squirts coffee out of her nostrils with the snort, cough, and punch-to-the-chest realisation. _Thump._ She beats at her ribs, coughing and sputtering, the hot coffee wedged in a very uncomfortable place somewhere in her oesophagus, Hanji’s laughter blending in with the slap of her hand against her own back.

Levi’s still trying to figure out whether or not she was trying to help.

When the coughing fit finally subsides after several more thumps and even more gulps of hot coffee (which _really_ did **not** help the situation **at all** ), Levi finally chooses to acknowledge the new information. “Are they doing that again?” She asks, eyebrows scrunched together, one raised. She already knows the answer, sure, but it _would_ be nice to know the rest of the details. Hanji nods in affirmation, hands burrowing into the abyss that lies between her breasts for any crumbs that may have fallen down there from the long-gone muffin.

“Yeah, we’re all doing it, and I’m pretty sure there were a few younger students who wanted to join when we went to tell all the music classes about it during our free periods.”

Their music program itself was quite vast, considering the actual size of their school; it wasn’t a large school, but it wasn’t necessarily _small,_ either. There was around twenty students per general class, but as the electives continued into the later year levels, those particular classes became relatively sparse. But, as it turned out, lots of people enjoyed the fun behind their performing arts department, from year sevens all the way up to their little group of year twelves.

“Sounds cool. Do you know what songs we’re doing?”

“Nup, it hasn’t officially started yet; tomorrow’s the first one of the… term, I think.”

“Ahh. Glad I won’t miss it.”

Hanji snorts. “Yeah, we’re all perfectly aware of how much you love music.”

They simmer in silence for a few moments before Levi breaks the silence with a small bubble of laughter.

“Y’know, how surprised do you think all the younger kids who don’t know any of us yet are gonna react when they find out that the year twelve with the chronic resting bitch-face is really into happy-ish indie music?” She says, giggling halfway through the sentence.

Hanji joins in. “They’ll probably shit themselves.”

“Probably.”

* * *

 

The first thing Levi did when they arrived at their school was throw out her emptied coffee cup.

Her long, slender, designed-for-piano fingers wrap around the doorhandle leading to the Year 12 Common Room, and push it down, Hanji peering over her shoulder.

“It’s locked.” She mumbles, mildly crushed. Hanji jutted out her lower lip, but soon snapped her fingers and cocked out a hip.

“Wait, doesn’t that new teacher get here early? The one who’s supervising the choir this year?”

Levi thought for a second. “You mean Moblit?”

Hanji snapped her fingers and pointed her index finger at Levi. “Yeah! Him!” She folded her arms. Levi mimicked the pose. “He gets here early, and he has a key for this whole block.”

“Oh yeah.”

Hanji nods in that ‘see what I mean?’ kind of way, her hands out palms-up, curling in her lips slightly, widening her eyes a fraction.

Levi merely shrugs. Gestures for Hanji to lead the way.

And off they set, to find a key to the Year 12 Common Room.

… Okay, it wouldn’t be a very _satisfying_ adventure, considering Moblit’s office was literally right next to the Common Room, so all they really had to do was take a few steps to the right, and they were there.

Levi rapped her knuckles against the glass window on the office door, brushing some of her fringe out of her face. She’d gone pretty basic with everything today, and her hair was no exception; it was still very slightly damp, so she’d thrown it up into one of those buns where it’s not really a bun, it’s just a ponytail folded into a little bun-like bump, because she’d figured she could ask Hanji to braid it when they were inside. And with the sloppy not-really-bun came her fringe.

It wasn’t really as much of a nuisance as that might’ve made it seem; it wasn’t full on **bangs** , but it was still _there._

She snapped out of her minor-as-fuck reverie when a figure appeared in the mini-window; Moblit’s sandy blond hair was slicked back today, his big brown eyes confused, eyebrows furrowed. Today, he’d chosen to go slightly more simple from what she’d seen of him; he was wearing a patterned button up shirt (y’know, like one of those hipster-ish ones) buttoned all the way up, collar smoothed against his neck, the sleeves rolled up to just under his elbow, and black skinny jeans on his legs. She suspected he had a coat thrown over the back of his desk chair.

“Oh, hey, girls,” he said, genuine surprise lacing his tone. “What’re you doin’ here so early?”

The girls looked at each other and shrugged.

Hanji spoke for them. “We’re not really sure. But can we borrow your key to the Common Room? You’re the only teacher here that we’re willing to talk to.”

Moblit chuckles. “I’m the only teacher _here._ ” He mumbles under his breath as he tugs off the lanyard from around his neck. He places them in Levi’s outstretched palm with a smirk and a, “Nice to see you back, Levi,” as his departing words.

Levi merely nods, spins on her heel, and pads back towards the Common Room, the correct key already separated from the three others dangling from the patterned lanyard strap.

Hanji lags behind, waving enthusiastically at Moblit as he closes the door on her giant, sticky-tape fixed glasses and three-times-broken nose. Levi shakes her head, shoving the yellow-tipped key in the lock on the handle and twisting once, twice, three times, before finally hearing the oddly belated click.

Hanji hums, head appearing over Levi’s shoulder. “That door _seriously_ needs to get fixed. Like, pronto.”

Levi wasn’t really concentrating on what she said, though.

Because when she swung open the now unlocked door to their school’s Year 12 Common Room, everything felt like home; the rays of sun pouring in through the far-too-big windows; the couches, with their sofa creases and ominous stains from years of use; the cabinets that closed too loudly and were specked with coffee stains that always made Levi itch a little; the jar of coffee that never seemed to be completely full, despite it’s great size; the jar of sugar that always knocked tiny grains of sugar off of your spoon when you tried to fill your mug; the mug cabinet itself, filled to the brim and more with mugs people had brought from home, mugs that people had bought plain but were littered with countless doodles of animals and other stick figures; the coffee table in between the couches, with its etched on penises and markings of _‘Levi was here’_ accompanied by the worst weed leaf drawings she’d ever seen; _all of it._

And for the first time since her first day of prep, she was _excited_ to be at school.

And _that_ was saying something.

* * *

 

“Dude, why is your penis lopsided?”

Hanji looked up and glared at her. They’d been adding to the collection of penises on the table for the last five minutes, having grown bored of sitting around doing nothing. They’d fared another go at the crossword from two weeks ago which, thankfully, no one had touched more than putting on the bench, but to no avail. The clue was bullshit, and they _still_ couldn’t guess the word.

But they thought, “Maybe we’re overthinking it.” And so they’d tried again.

And although they seriously tried, the crossword just ended up back across the room in virtually the exact same spot as their last encounter.

So, to pass time, they were drawing dicks all over the coffee table.

… Well, _more,_ anyway.

“What do you mean, my dick’s lopsided?” Hanji whined, scratching her head as she stared down at her drawing.

“It’s lopsided!” Levi exclaimed back. It really was lopsided. And bumpy. And really, really, _really_ poorly drawn.

Hanji’s lips curled into a pout trying to hide a smile. “Well, ex _cuse me,_ Miss ‘I Pay Attention To Every Single Little Detail’.”

Levi smiled. “You’re excused.”

After a few more dicks were added to the table, the door opened, snapping their heads towards it at borderline breakneck speed. A head of golden blonde hair stood in the doorway, big blue eyes staring around the room until finally dropping on them, pale, chapped lips dropping open slightly as their eyes locked.

Levi stared back like a deer in headlights because _holy shit Armin had just arrived._

“Hey, Armin, buddy!” Hanji exclaimed loudly, offering an overly animated wave. Armin glanced at her, then back at Levi. He shook his head and wandered over, sitting down next to Levi and crossing his legs. He looked unto the table.

And up went an eyebrow. “So it was _you_ who’d been drawing dicks on the tables.”

The girls looked up at him, sceptical expressions marking their faces. “Well, yeah,” Hanji said, pen still scratching into the wood. “Who else would it be?”

“I dunno… Connie and Sasha?” He replied simply.

Levi considered that for a moment, shoulder lifting into a shrug. “He’s got a point.”

Hanji shot her a look. Levi shot it back.

Armin got up to make a coffee, obviously not wanting to deal with their female shenanigans in the morning. He flipped on the kettle, got out his personal mug, put in the correct amount of coffee and sugar, walked back to the coffee table, took the girls’ cups, and prepared their coffees, too.

They mumbled words of thanks, appreciative of Armin’s politeness, and continued etching dicks into the coffee table.

Armin cleared his throat. “By the way, Hanji, you’re dick is lopsided.”

Levi looked up with a triumphant look on her face. “I fucking told you so.”

Hanji roared and pointed an accusatory finger at the blond bastard making coffee. “I hate you, Armin.”

He merely smirked.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo yeah
> 
> that was that
> 
> just wanted yall to know that im actually working on a misfits au (remember how i mentioned that shit??? yeah well.... tryna make it happen) so if u want i'll keep yall updated on that shit
> 
> aaaaand following the pattern of the last two chapters, goodbye for now, but not forever.
> 
> later, nerds!


	14. absolute panic and impending doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> levi does a very bad thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i'm back
> 
> i'm not gonna lie; this chapter is really sad, and there is a trigger warning for something bad but it's a spoiler and tbh i should really tell you what but it's such a big spoiler and i want you to be shocked.
> 
> anyways, sorry it's actually really crappily written. i wanted to give yall a solid, long-ish chapter, because i think it would've been better.
> 
> so yeah
> 
> enjoy
> 
> or not
> 
> bc its sad
> 
> yeah.

Okay, so maybe it was a _tad_ more chaotic than Levi had originally anticipated when the rest of their friends arrived, but she wasn’t really in any place to blame them for their utmost surprise, as she _had_ been gone for what was apparently over a week.

Which meant, as she let Connie’s information on time settle in, that she had managed to get further into her pregnancy without even noticing.

And sure, she was still pretty early in, but the crushing fear of ‘holy shit if I decide to abort what if I don’t in time and I have to have the damn kid holy shit holy shit holy _shit’_ just seemed to weigh a bit too heavily on her mind.

So much so that she looked to Hanji for help, feeling her heartbeat quicken and become more frequent. Hanji caught her gaze and held it, but for a millisecond too long, and Sasha, surprisingly enough, caught on. Her hazel eyes narrowed at the two of them, and she stared at them continuously. She seated herself on her knees in front of them, asked Connie to make her a cup of coffee, and tapped her pen against the coffee table, something that she _knew_ pissed Levi off beyond all else.

_That clever bitch._

To keep her temptations of snapping and spilling everything that had happened over the last week or so on the inside and not the outside, Levi went back to scratching oddly neat penises into the coffee table in complete and utter silence. She knew it was a risky decision, staying quiet, especially in her current predicament, but she also knew she needed to concentrate on not getting angry at the incredibly annoying tapping of plastic against the wooden coffee table.

Her eye twitched at the thought.

The tapping persisted, and Levi could feel the irritation building up under the equally as persistent stare boring into the top of her head. But, instead of actually verbalising her irritation in the form of an incredibly angry fit of curse-filled rage, she abruptly stood up, careful not to make eye contact with Sasha, swept up her used mug, and moved over to the kettle counter. It was still newly heated from Connie’s use of it a few minutes ago, so, grabbing a clean spoon form the cutlery cup, she set about making a cup of coffee, struggling still to hold her frustration behind her lips.

And she managed to keep it in, until she got about halfway through the cup of coffee.

She could still feel Sasha’s gaze on the back of her head, and she still refused with a strong passion to turn around. She’d been in this situation before; if she turned around, she’d make contact with Sasha, and even she wouldn’t be able to resist the secret powers of utmost persuasion that lingered in her friend’s eyes.

And if she couldn’t withstand that, she knew she’d spill everything to her friends and the few other year twelves who were more acquaintances than friends.

And Levi _really_ didn’t want that to happen.

But, because she’d been in this situation before, Levi also happened to know exactly how to prevent it.

Her eyes fell on a water bottle that had been left on the counter, probably by one of the other year twelves. It was mostly empty, the blue and pink _Mount Franklin_ label peeled off halfway, leaving it dangling against the ridged and overused plastic.

In a quick flush of movement, Levi swiped up the water bottle, swung her body around, shut her eyes and blindly threw the plastic bottle in the estimated direction of her stupendously persuasive friend. And in the few milliseconds it took for the bottle to reach Sasha, Levi felt as though the world slowed down. Armin’s jaw dropped, Hanji scrambled to get out of the way in time, Sasha’s eyes widened, and Connie started to run from halfway across the room in a lousy attempt to save his best friend’s nose from the admittedly-thrown-too-hard water bottle. Levi opened one eye, just a little, but it was enough to see the water bottle smack Sasha straight in the nose.

Everyone waited.

“ _Shit-faced, motherfucking, cunt-sucking, dick-slapping son of a **cunt** , did that fucking **hurt**_ **.** ”          

Levi’s eyes snapped open at those words. Her gaze focused in on Sasha immediately, her eyes burning into a solid glare that seemed to see right through the girl. Sasha herself was sitting there, cussing up a complete storm, hands cupped over her mouth with blood seeping out from between her fingers.

It wasn’t long before Levi was seeing red.

She marched over the Sasha, leant down in front of her – Nicki Minaj style – and jabbed a finger into her chest. She could physically feel her glare sharpen when the auburn haired girl tried to smack her hand away, only to receive a fairly impressive slap across the face in return.

“Listen to me,” Levi said, voice low, dripping with venom. Sasha audibly gulped. “ _Don’t try to get under my fucking skin again._ There’s more shit going on with me than you would think, and you trying to suck it out of me does _not_ fucking help. _So,_ why don’t you just be a good girl and wait until I’m fucking ready to tell you, okay?”

She didn’t wait for an answer before standing up with an overly passive-aggressive smile and heading towards the door, completely intent on leaving before the day had even truly begun.

Which sucked, really, because she’d put on makeup for this shit.

* * *

 

She’d been out of school for a grand total of twenty-eight seconds when she finally, after a full five days, ran into Eren.

It was an expected, she supposed, but still unwelcome occurrence, and one she’d personally been hoping to avoid for as long as humanly possible.

But, obviously, fate had apparently made other plans to fuck her completely and totally up the ass.

The whole affair was slightly too awkward for her to recount. She groaned and rolled over, trying to wipe Eren’s surprised face from her mind completely. It was difficult, an almost useless effort, but she managed to completely clean her mind from the horrid, _horrid_ memory. She stretched her arms above her head, her knuckles grazing against the brick wall behind her, and she pulled back in mild discomfort.

And to accurately justify the brick wall, Levi had pretty much decided, ‘fuck this, I’m out’ after the small interaction, which had led her to, obviously, go home for the day.

So now she was wasting away in an endless pit of despair, eating dry Fruit Loops straight out of the newly bought box.

Sure, she started feeling sick after the eighteenth handful, but who gave a fuck when you were so far into a depressive state you couldn’t remember the last time you pissed or showered, and not in that exact order.

But it was more like a trance. She couldn’t stop, because she wasn’t aware she was doing it. Her thoughts had been clouded ever since she’d gone home, shrouded in a darkness that she thought she’d never be affected by. Yet here it was, shitting all over her life, like it had always been there.

In all honesty, the best analogy Levi could accurately think of was an uncle or aunty or cousin. You never really interacted, other than on a few occasions, but deep down, you knew they were they, always.

Well, that’s how she felt about these new feelings.

It felt like she was stuck at a family reunion, being forced to talk to these feelings for an extended period of time, and with every second spent with them, she could feel herself inching closer and closer to the edge. She was getting sick of it – what, exactly, she didn’t know – and she could feel the crushing weight of these feelings, pounding at her mind and mental stability. It was hard to keep it together, growing harder by the millisecond, and she didn’t know if she could handle everything the world had thrown at her in the last few weeks.

She’d had sex.

Her mum had broken up with her boyfriend.

School’s back.

She threw up in the middle of class.

She’d worried everyone for a solid two weeks.

Armin knew what was up with her.

She had to deal with her friends’ suspicions as to what’s wrong with her.

She was pregnant.

And she was too scared of the future to do anything about it.

A tear rolled down her cheek. She sniffed once, twice, three times. A sob clogged her throat, pushing up, up, _up_ , trying to get out, and only managing to escape a weak, pathetic whine. Her head hurt with the weight of physical sadness trying to break free, hurt from too many thoughts racing around at the same time. She felt like it was going to explode.

But a single thought caught her attention, reaching out above all the rest, making itself dangerously known.

_If you’re scared to have someone else do it, why not do it yourself?_

And suddenly, it was like everything made sense.

She was too scared to have the kid, but too scared to get it aborted. Exactly. She’d just do it herself.

Sitting up, Levi jumped off of the bed, wiping her tears on her sleeve as she headed towards the kitchen, a mantra of _do it myself, do it myself, do it myself_ filling her brain incoherently. The words blended together, but the meaning still stuck to her dangerously. Her fingers trembled with a mixture of fear and excitement; she’d be finally getting rid of this burden of a pregnancy, but she was inexperienced. What if something went wrong?

She silenced that part of her mind unconsciously.

Her fingers wrapped around the handle of a knife her mum had gotten as a joke; it was red with white polka dots, and had come in a set of three – two small, one large. She took a smaller one, as it would make the whole ordeal a lot easier to work with, and turned it in her fingers a few times over. The blade slit her fingers slightly, drops of blood spilling through and staining her fingers crimson. It looked pretty, the way the red contrasted against her pale skin, trailing down to the yellowing bruises from ever so long ago, around the islands of scabs that swam in the bruises themselves, round and withering in numbers from Levi continuously picking them.

She chuckled. _Seems like forever ago._

Her hands were shaking, her legs numb and heavy as she wandered back down to her bedroom. It was a shame, really, that she’d be getting blood on her carpet, but it was at least better than getting it all over the nice white bathroom. Her fingers trembled as she closed and locked the giant door that lead into her bedroom, her arms going numb now as she sat herself down cross-legged on her floor. Her lips quivered, her eyes glistening with tears, a voice in the back of her mind screaming at her, _don’t do it, don’t do it, **don’t do it.**_

It was a hard thing to ignore, but as she lifted off her shirt, leaving her in only her jean shorts and bra, a sense of overwhelming calm settled over her. It stayed as she pressed the tip of the blade to her stomach, just around where she guessed her womb was, and it lingered further as she pushed the blade inside of her. She didn’t feel the pain, her body was entirely too numb, moving, but not feeling. She did, however, feel the tears as they flowed down her cheeks, salty and stinging her eyes, dribbling down her top lip into her mouth.

But she felt strangely at peace. She felt at peace with the tears pouring down her face. She felt at peace with not talking to Eren. To Hanji. To Armin, to Sasha, Connie, Jean, Reiner, Bertolt, Mikasa, _Annie,_ of all people.

She felt at peace with stabbing her unborn child in an act of unpractised abortion.

… Didn’t she?

* * *

 

A sudden sense of regret flooded into her, and she felt everything at the same time. Her arms, her legs, her fingers, toes, face, eyes, the **_knife in her stomach._**

Her hands slowly retracted from the handle of the knife, clutching at her face in panic. She couldn’t take it out; she’d bleed everywhere and die for sure. She needed her phone, she needed to call someone, but she didn’t know who.

She’d call one of her friends. Hanji or Armin. Both?

She looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table. The school was in lunch right now. She could call someone.

She looked around the floor for her phone, vaguely remembering that it was around there somewhere. Her eyes locked on it, and she grabbed it in a panicked rush. Her shaky fingers fumbled to unlock her phone, taking one, two, three tries before getting it. She needed to call someone, the first person who came up on her favourites contact list.

She tapped on the name and dialled, holding the phone to her ear, her words heart racing with a mixture of panic and adrenaline. She was shaking, shaking, shaking, and she almost dropped her phone from it. The phone rang. Once, twice, thrice, four times before he picked up.

“ _Levi?”_ he asked upon answer. _“What’s wrong?”_

The words came pouring out, like a broken dam, flooding his ears with words that she wasn’t even sure made sense.

“Armin, I did something really stupid and now there’s a knife in my stomach and I can’t take it out or I’ll bleed everywhere and oh _god I can’t feel my legs holy shit Armin please tell me what to do I’m freaking out what do I do what do I do **what do I do?!”**_

Armin struggled profusely to comprehend her situation, but her babbling voice made it click eventually. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking around at all of their friends before picking one. He pointed at the two-tone haired, horseface bastard and just screamed,

“Jean you seriously need to fucking call ambulance right now and send it to Levi’s house.”

Jean was as shocked as Armin and Levi was. He fumbled with his phone, producing it from his short pockets and immediately going to the emergency call. Zero, zero, zero, he dialled, and pressed it to his ear, the service lady picking up after the second ring.

“You have dialled emergency triple zero, your call is being connected. Please wait.” A female voice said, and he almost screamed that they couldn’t wait, because something had happened to a good friend of his, and he needed an ambulance _now._

A deep voice answered next. “Police, fire, or ambulance?” He asked bluntly.

“Ambulance.” Jean replied, feeling the panic begin to creep into him unsettlingly. Armin was still trying to calm down Levi, who he could hear was panicking to all hell on the other line, screaming at Armin intensely with utmost fear of what to do.

“Okay, sir, can you please tell me what state and town you’re calling from?”

“Shiganshina, Victoria.”

“Okay sir, I’m putting you through. Please don’t hang up.”

“Okay.”

Their entire friend group waited with bated breath, listening to Armin’s failing attempts at calming Levi down.

A new voice picked up on Jean’s phone. “Ambulance emergency. Please state the location in need of services.”

Jean told the operator Levi’s address as calmly as one could.

“Alright sir, what’s happening there?”

“Hold on. My friend knows more.”

Jean passed the phone to Armin, who passed his phone to Hanji to try and calm Levi down.

“Hi, yes, our friend has tried to commit suicide, and is now at home with a knife in her abdomen. I don’t know the situation fully, but that’s what I know. She’s conscious.” Armin replied to the operator. Quite smoothly.

Too smoothly.

The operator asked him something. “Uh, Armin Arlert.” He also gave the operator his phone number. Another pause. “My friend’s name is Levi Ackerman. Please hurry. I don’t think she’ll last much longer.”

They stayed online with the operator for twenty more minutes.

Levi only stayed online with Hanji for five.

* * *

 

When Celia Ackerman got home that afternoon, she didn’t expect an ambulance and a police car to be outside her home.

She walked up to the nearest police officer, forgetting to slam the car door behind her. The officer turned around at the sound of her heels clicking against the concrete of the driveway, and his facial expression was scarily grim. An impending sense of doom washed over Celia, her hands wobbling with anticipation.

“Ma’am,” he started, meeting her halfway. “Do you live here?”

“Yes.”

“Ma’am… I’m so sorry,” he said, and Celia’s hands began to tremble harder. “Your… daughter, I think. According to her friends, she attempted suicide. She’s in the hospital right now.”

Celia stopped. Her expression went blank, her eyes glazing over, and fear trickled into her veins, flew through her arms, legs, swimming to her brain.

“I’d… be happy to drive you.” The police officer offered.

Celia was too shocked to refuse.

She knew she couldn’t drive in her state.

And she knew there couldn’t be two possible deaths today.

One day.

But not today.

Not today.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's that
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter
> 
> i'm trying but
> 
> yknow
> 
> sorry if my trigger warning didn't work
> 
> following the pattern of the last few chapters, goodbye for now, but not forever


	15. confession 'booth' and way too many emotional rollercoasters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> levi's not emotionally exhausted enough, so the higher powers make her suffer more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, two updates in one month?
> 
> okay, so like, this chapter's a bit longer, and i actually haven't been very happy with the last couple, so the next one might be a lot more goofing around
> 
> also, i'm not a medical expert, so if i get anything wrong, do tell me! i like learning
> 
> i don't really have much else to say
> 
> enjoy, i guess?

Her body felt so heavy she couldn’t lift a limb if she tried.

It was a strange feeling, not being able to move, but her mind seemed to shrug it off, which got her vaguely confused. But she shrugged that off, too, content on staying in her cocoon of paralysis for as long as humanly – and peacefully – possible.

Which proved to be quite a fruitless attempt, as it wasn’t long before a wave of noises ripped her from her sleep.

She was spooked, to put it nicely, by the sudden onslaught of noise, barely managing to actually, fully wake up before being almost physically forced out of unconsciousness by the slimy hands of the fucking Devil, which wasn’t a very pleasant experience, as she was having a very lovely dream that she didn’t want to wake up from.

But, obviously, fate, like so many times before, had decided to completely, wholly, totally, absolutely, one million per-fucking-cent fucked her the fuck over like a rabbit in fucking heat.

_God, Allah, and all that is Holy,_ she silently prayed, her fingers twitching for Lord knows whatever reason, _Please stop fucking me over. It was funny the first few times, but now you’re just being mean._

A voice rose above all the noise, high, feminine, and god-awful annoying.

_Fuck you guys._

“-Levi!” The voice called.

_This is why I was never religious._

“C’mon, wakey wakey, eggs and bake-y!”

_I would be religious if this shit didn’t happen._

“Rise and shine!”

_Love, Levi._

“C’mon, fuckface, time to get the fuck up!”

She tried to reply, she really did, but all that came out was a completely incoherent mumble. She wasn’t even truly sure what she’d tried to say, but it was probably something insulting, as the voice just let out a booming cackle of a laugh.

“Oh, I _knew_ you could hear me!”

Someone moved around, and suddenly, a warm hand was gripping her own. The bed dipped, and someone sighed.

“Don’t fucking scare me like that again, prick.” The voice said, unexpectedly sad.

She tried to talk to the voice; to mumble or murmur out something just short of an apology, but the most she could do was force her eyes open a crack, and stare glumly at her best friend, Hanji Zoe. Her throat was raw from misuse, burning, and after a couple of unsuccessful attempts at communication, her lips, sore, cracked, and probably bruised, managed to push out one half of the apology she wanted.

“..’ry.”

Hanji looked up, face contorted into one of shock, and her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

“… Sorry.”

She could feel her own tears filling her barely-open eyes, her head feeling heavier than her aching body, and she only just managed to move her fingers in Hanji’s hand, squeezing once, twice, and not letting go. Hanji looked down at their locked hands, eyes wide, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks and discolouring the skin an ugly, blotchy red.

“… I’m sorry…” She tried – and apparently succeeded – to squeeze out of her scratchy throat. Her voice was quiet, its volume incredibly scarce, but she tried so hard to just _speak._

She felt her own tears sting her skin as they fell down her temples, imbedding themselves in her greasy, unwashed hair. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realised that she hadn’t actually showered, what with being in hospital (apparently), so a wave of disgust flooded her amidst all the pain and emotion.

She promptly ignored it in favour of being enveloped in a glorious warm hug by Hanji.

A _stabbing_ pain gripped at her abdomen, cutting through the utterly heart-warming awakening rudely, and she dropped Hanji’s hand, moving both of her own hands to the area of pain. Hanji pulled back from the embrace, a look of concern on her pretty little face, and a few strands of hair fell into her face from her ponytail.

“Levi? You alright, mate?”

Levi held up a very shaky thumbs up, an obvious lie that Hanji, unfortunately, did not fall for. Levi, seeing this, shook her head, and flipped her hand over.

Her hand soon fell to her side, pure exhaustion flooding over her. She wanted to fall back asleep, but she _knew_ she couldn’t; there were too many questions to ask Hanji, too many things she might’ve missed. What was happening in their friend group? Did Jean finally gather up the courage to talk to Marco?

But, most importantly, did her ‘home abortion’ _succeed?_

“Can… can you… help… me… sit up…?” She struggled out. Hanji looked a little taken aback by the request, but helped her into a sitting position anyway.

It was a challenge, that was for sure, as Levi wasn’t really doing much – she was hospitalised, did Hanji really expect her to? – and with trying to manoeuvre around the stitched up stab wound – which still ached from the tackle of a hug from dear old Hanji – as well as trying to prop up the pillows comfortably – which she did, in fact, manage, thank fuck – it was, in fact, a very extensive challenge.

But Hanji solely accomplished helping her hospitalised little friend into a sitting position.

She passed her a glass of water that was sitting nearby, the nurse having told her that Levi’d stirred earlier before she arrived, and assisted in having Levi drink some of it. Hanji had already guessed that Levi would want to ask some questions, and that she was tired, and that her throat was almost too underused _for_ use, so it was the least she could do.

She sat down on the edge of the bed again, Levi’s covered legs pressing up against the small of her back, and sighed. “Your mum’s here,” she said slowly, eyes trained on the immaculate floor, her fingers fiddling with her hair. “She went to get coffee. Left a couple of minutes before you arrived. She’ll- She’ll be back soon.”

Levi only nodded, her gaze scanning the room. She was trying to grasp at a single question floating around her head amongst many, her temple aching as much as her body was. It was a similar scenario to that scene in the first _Harry Potter,_ where Harry was flying around the room full of keys, trying to grab the one key for the door they needed to get through – the only difference was that there was no one key.

It was a matter of pick and choose, and Levi was struggling to grasp that.

It took a few minutes, but she eventually succeeded in grabbing the one question that was definitely the elephant in the room.

“Hanji,” she began, her voice sounding a whole lot better from merely a few sips of water. “Did- Did it… _work?”_

Hanji glanced up at her sadly, and sighed, forefinger and thumb pinching the bridge of her nose, her other fingers on that hand lifting up her glasses – the big, take-up-half-your-face kind.

“Hanji-“

“You were off. By a few inches.” Hanji relented. “You missed your womb and all vital organs. The- The knife was… was too short.”

Levi only managed to push a meek little ‘oh’ out of her mind. A silence fell between them, the only real sounds being the beeping of the machines she was hooked up to – she didn’t know the names of any of them, only that they were big and annoying and probably incredibly important to her survival – and the footsteps of people outside her room. She was tired, so tired, and she didn’t know how much longer she could stay awake, exhaustion engulfing her mind, body, and probably soul.

But she had another question to ask.

“Hanj’,” she said, once again gaining the attention of her friend. “Did you… did you t-tell _them?”_

Hanji looked a little shocked at the question. “No. But if you’d like me to-“

“N-No. I… I wanna do it. But I-I wanna tell Eren first.”

Hanji opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by someone opening the door.

And there, in all her thirty-six year old glory, was Celia goddamn Ackerman, with two cups of shit hospital coffee in her hands, and a look of pure shock on her face the second she makes eye contact with Levi.

Levi panics internally, her face probably dripping with shame, but her eyes speaking a million words a minute, and the longer they keep eye contact, the more tension fills the air. She’s expecting the question, that one little question that’s knocked the one sitting between her and Hanji and is now the prime elephant in the room.

The alpha elephant.

The alphaphant, if you will.

Levi cleared her throat and gulped. “Mum-“

“Hanji, can you step outside for a few minutes? I need to talk to Levi.” Celia’s tone left no room for arguments, so Hanji obliged, obediently taking the coffees from Celia’s shaking hands. She turned back to Levi with a simple comment of ‘I’ll text the others’ before, unfortunately, leaving the two alone.

And as soon as the door clicked shut, it was like another had open.

Only instead of leading to freedom, as the actual, physical door in the room had, this one lead to her mother’s inevitable fury.

Oh, goodie.

* * *

 

They both kept their ground in absolute silence for several moments after Hanji left.

Her mother, now free of the coffees, wiped her sweaty hands on her dark blue jeans, the material hugging her motherly thighs. Levi was always kind of glad that her mother was young, as her sense of style was surprisingly good. It was casual, but she did still have that air of profession around her; so even her simple outfit today of dark blue skinny jeans (seems a strict diet of skinny jeans ran in the family), a plain white shirt, and a thin, decorative scarf still made anyone who met her immediately cower in fear.

Honestly, most people were surprised that her mother was as nice as she actually was.

But even knowing that fact, Levi couldn’t help but also cower in fear at the previously mentioned alphaphant in the room, especially considering her mother’s stare was cutting into her very being.

But there was definite concern behind her eyes.

Concern, mixed with… relief?

Celia, in a moment of love, rushed over to Levi, arms spread out wide, and tears already staining her cheeks. She absolutely engulfed Levi in a hug that mirrored Hanji’s from before, and her lips pressed against her daughter’s forehead. Levi herself found her own arms wrapping around Celia, and she buried her face in her mother’s shoulder, trying her hardest to ignore the, again, crippling pain that sliced through her entire existence.

They stayed like that in peace for several minutes, before Celia pulled away suddenly, obviously remembering the reason her daughter was in here.

Her face clouded with concern, darkening with the alphaphant that neither of them really wanted to bring up, and her lips trembled, her hands shook, and Levi sniffed.

“Mum-“ she tried again.

“Levi, why?”

Levi physically recoiled at the question. _God, this was becoming a regular thing, these talks. It’s exhausting me._

“I don’t-“

“Why did you do it, Levi.”

_Ah, shit, it’s no longer a question._

She sniffed again, wiping her unsteady fingers under her eyes and effectively stopping the tears that threatened to dribble down in all their misery. She couldn’t tell her mother that it wasn’t actually a suicide attempt, as she guessed her mother was told, but she couldn’t exactly tell her that it was an unpractised abortion that drove her here.

Hell, she couldn’t even tell the woman that she’d tried to perform said abortion _herself._

Before she knew it, she’d broken down in tears, and nothing but rambling mumbles escaped her vocal cords in the form of pained sobs.

It all sort of fell out of her, more than anything.

She choked and coughed and hiccupped and _sobbed_ her way through the explanation, but eventually got there after several tries and failures, if not for a lot of translating on her mother’s behalf.

“Wait,” Celia said, slightly confused, but she’d probably figured it out already. Her hand rubbed up and down Levi’s back in a comforting notion. “You tried to _cut your baby out of your stomach?”_

Levi nodded, another sob of many escaping her pathetically. She buried her face in her hands, her knees brought up close to her chest, but not too much as to put strain on the stitched up stab wound. God, she was exhausted, so, so exhausted from the day, and she’d barely been awake for ten minutes.

She was exhausted mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally again. So much had happened in such a short amount of time, and now she wasn’t sure if she couldactually do it all anymore.

But as she looked up at her mother, worried, shaking, and looking about as ready to break down into tears as Levi had, she realised that if she gave up now, her mother would eventually give up, too.

Her friends would lose a piece of themselves.

Her child would never get to see the light of day.

And that was enough to make her instantly regret her thoughts with a cry.

“I’m sorry, Mum, I’m so, so, sorry.”

Her mother’s eyebrows furrowed with alarm. “What for, sweetheart?”

Levi hiccupped and sniffed. “E-Everything,” she stuttered out, “Sorry for everything.”

Celia’s arms wrapped back around her. Softer, this time, and warmer, too. Motherly. Loving. Concerned, worried, and every other synonym of that word.

And Levi just relished in all of it.

Because it was the safest she’d felt for a while.

_So let me have that, at least, you holy bastards._

* * *

 

“I texted Eren and everyone.”

Levi looked up from her lap. The emotional rollercoaster between her and her mother was finally over after her mother had offered to pay for her to have an actual, safe abortion, and Levi had responded with an explanation that she’d decided to keep the kid, her reason being, “Either way, someone’s seeing my vagina.”

Celia had left with a laughter, claiming that now she could stop worrying so much, and Levi sent her off to go eat something.

Levi swallowed. “And? What’d they say?”

Hanji put a hand on her hip. “Well, actually-“

She was abruptly cut off by a knock on the door.

Levi shot Hanji a look. “Hanji, is that them?”

Hanji, in response, stood up from her perch on the chair that she’d pulled up next to the hospital bed, and went to answer the door.

Levi sighed. “Let Armin in, too, will ya? He deserves to know, I guess.”

Hanji simply turned back with a smirk and a nod, her hand hovering over the door handle, before sharply pushing down and swinging the door open, revealing every single person in their little friend group behind its ugly-as-fuck blue magnificence.

“Alright, you all read the text; Eren and Armin only, for now.”

In they came, both of them together, and Hanji shut the door behind them both. She turned and leant back against it, like a bouncer, or a security. Levi laughed at the thought. _That’s pretty much what she is right now._

Eren and Armin rushed up to her in fairly synchronised movements. They kept trying to talk over each other, each asking questions concerning Levi’s wellbeing, but she shut them down with a quick push off and an excuse that her wound hurt.

They backed off pretty much entirely.

Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. It’d seemed like a good idea before, telling them both, but now that she was here, _how_ did she? Did she just straight up tell them? It felt too simple, like it wasn’t enough. At the same time, though, she didn’t know how to adequately elaborate on the situation, so realistically speaking, straight up telling them was probably the better option.

Her hands quivered in her lap, wringing themselves over each other, and she dropped her gaze down to them. Her hair fell over her shoulders, still as greasy and unwashed and _gross_ as when she first woke up. Her skin itched with filth, begging to be clean, but she knew she couldn’t, not yet. Her eyebrows furrowed with stress, her lips tightening into a thin line, and she picked at her probably-too-long fingernails.

With a resigned sigh, she glanced up at the boys in front of her; their expressions broadcasted entirely their distress, and Levi quickly looked back down at her hands, guilt flooding over her. She tucked her hair behind her ear, feeling their natural loose curls between her fingers, a result of not having straightened it in a while. Actually, she hardly ever straightened it, but still.

Another sigh. _Just fucking tell them._

“Guys… I got… I got something to tell you.”

She looked up, straight into their eyes, and this time struggled to keep eye contact. But she did, and she felt the full force of their concern flood into her. They waited patiently, Armin putting a hand on his hip, and Eren folding his arms across his chest.

_Another_ sigh.

“I…” she let out a small whine, closing her eyes for a few seconds. They fluttered open, and her mouth set into a tighter line.

“Guys, I’m pregnant.”

And then the shitstorm began.

Armin didn’t look very surprised at first – Levi assumed he must’ve known, but that was a nagging suspicion she’d had for a while.

But then, there was Eren.

Eren… he freaked the fuck out. In every sense of the term.

The look of pure shock that took over his facial features was one that would probably go down in history. It instilled silent fear into Levi, who anxiously anticipated his response. He was probably incredibly confused, she knew that, but the guy was unpredictable as fuck, so for all she knew, he could end up doing something incredibly violent towards anyone – and anything – in the immediate vicinity.

Luckily, however, he was not the first to react.

“I knew it.”

Armin’s voice cut through the tension that was building between Eren and Levi, and both of their attentions snapped towards him. Now, it was Armin’s turn to fold his arms, and Levi’s eyes narrowed.

He looked between them, a contained smirk threatening to break free from behind his lips. He chuckled slightly, unfolding one of his arms and throwing a thumb over his shoulder, pointing in the general direction of Hanji. “She told me.” He said, casually.

“… Fair enough.” Levi replied.

Eren turned back to her, his face still showing how completely and utterly in shock the guy was. He ran his fingers through his hair, making an abundance of ‘what the _fuck’_ facial expressions. Levi would’ve counted, but in that moment she was so scared of his reaction that she just couldn’t find it in her.

Hanji crept up behind Armin and tapped him on the shoulder. She whispered something in his ear, Armin nodded, and soon, that were both backing out of the hospital room, apparently completely aware of the tension that had infested the room in its entirety.

And as soon as the door clicked shut, all hell broke loose.

For the second time that day.

“Wait, you’re _what?”_ Eren said, apparently exhasperated.

“You fuckin’ heard me.” Levi spat back, arms folding under her chest. Eren shot her a look.

He ran his fingers through his hair again. “Wha- I don’t- _how?”_

Levi couldn’t help but snort. “I don’t know, the condom probably broke or some shit.”

Eren’s stare hardened, and Levi sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time within the last ten minutes.

“Look, Eren, you can’t freak out, okay? It was a- a _mistake_ and now you’re gonna have to put up with it whether you like it or not, because trust me, I never wanted a fucking kid either.” She jabbed a finger at him. “That’s the whole fucking reason I’m in here.”

He looked mildly defeated at that.

“Now, I want you to go back out there and tell every one of our friends exactly the reason I’m in here, because I’m so fucking tired from the day that I feel like I might literally collapse in the middle of this sentence.” She said. He nodded, and her shoulders relaxed significantly.

“And Eren?”

He looked up. “Hm?”

Levi paused. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

Eren chuckled and turned back to the door, throwing a lazy wave over his shoulder.

“I know.”

And with those parting words, Levi shifted back into a laying position, feeling significantly stronger than when she first woke up, closed her eyes, and allowed the comforting embrace of unconsciousness consume her.

After all, she had a lot of recovery ahead of her that she probably wasn’t as prepared for as she wished.

But that could wait.

She'd had enough emotional rollercoasters for one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, not gonna say much, other than the next chapter is gonna be more about eren than levi, especially looking more into his family life!
> 
> and, following the pattern of the last, like, four chapters, goodbye for now, but not forever.
> 
> later, fucknuts!


	16. NOT A CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we gotta talk

hey, it's me.

so i know none of you have seen me in well over a year but i'm pretty much just coming to say that as of right now this fic is abandoned.

i'm only really making this because i felt supremely guilty about having just left it sitting here, unfinished by a large margin, and so to clear my head and my heart i just figured i might tell you guys that this has been officially abandoned. you could say it's on a hiatus as, for all we know, i could eventually come back to it, but who knows? i personally don't think i will.

hence the 'abandoned' aspect.

anyways, thank you for understanding (anyone else getting the vibe that i'm firing people) and let's all hope i can rekindle my love of snk.

peace out nutbags,

sybris ♡

**Author's Note:**

> btw, my tumblr is pedoseidon, so feel free to check that out


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